Marriage Is Not the Key to Happiness

[Lady Alias]

Married people are no more happier than singles. Though people react strongly to events such as marriage, they return to their personal "set point of happiness" after a certain period of time.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/p...18-000002.html

[malcolm]

not like ill have to worry about that. i suck at relationships.

[BookOfFaeye]

the truth is you are the key to your own happiness and no one can fix your head but you (and perhaps in some cases medication). The problem with everyones mental state is that they point fingers everywhere else and say "Not my fault". You let things stay with you. You let things damage you. You let things break your spirit, your pride, your heart. Blaming others wont fix it. No one else can heal a cut or a bruise on your skin so expecting them to fix your soul is a tad unfair.

Not that I dont do it too, everyone wants a scapegoat.

[malcolm]

true.and i think everyone has a scapegoat in some way or another.

[Mr Karl]

whoever said it was the key to happiness?

[malcolm]

i think most of those old farts who have been married since ww2 nowadays do. wahts funny is when i was in the service we had a deacon come out and tell us all thatwe shouldnt ven think about marriage until we were over twentyfive. ive also heard people say that you should pretty much take out al the sex aspect of the relationship and see how compatible you are together before even thinkin about it. good thing im gay-we cant get married.

[sickybuaaaaa]

you cant? well it depends on where you live..

[sunkarma]

I don't believe in marriage. People have long thought that you get married and you live "happily ever after". Marriage does not equal happiness.You have to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else. Being in a couple does not equate to instantaneous joy and happiness- in fact, its more work as you have to cater to the other person's wants/needs/deviations. Marriage is just a piece of paper. If two people are meant to be together they will- and it won't matter if it is 'legal' or not.
That's my story-and I'm sticking to it. I've never been married nor do I chose to be- men are too strange!

S

[Amelia G]

I think a lot of good things are like that as far as basic happiness is concerned. Someone might really really want to finish a degree and, although there might be some rewards for doing so and they might be thrilled when they first achieve their goal, they may return to closer to a certain baseline happiness or unhappiness. This does not mean that finishing a degree or getting married do not improve the person's overall existence, just that their day-to-day feelings of happiness or unhappiness may return to a certain baseline. The study referred to is about having a certain set point of happiness, not a screed against marriage.

[sunkarma]

There are set points in happiness- I agree. I would've loved to see an actual graph and study examples in that article- it was too short and not enough data to back it up that we can see. But why do some base their setpoints on the wants/emotions/feelings of others- that astounds me. Happiness to me is just a chemical reaction in the brain-chocolate can make you happy, drugs like cocaine can make you happy. It varies- but is there really TRUE happiness? That may be another topic altogether.

[antiseptic fashion]

Married people are no more happier than singles. Though people react strongly to events such as marriage, they return to their personal "set point of happiness" after a certain period of time.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/p...18-000002.html

God I felt all warm and fuzzy after reading this, I love you psych. today!