Vent. WARNING: may contain traces of emo.

[evilstonermonkey]

argh, just wanna get this shit outta my system. im pissed off at the world and lately i just dont seem to be able to roll better than snake eyes. so far this year ive lost my mp3 player, killed my speakers, killed my ds, and am having constant issues with my computer - none of which i can afford to fix/replace. my hours at work have dropped, and due to a constant stream of OTHER PEOPLEs fuck ups, my savings are non existant. while i have no money, i now need to pay double the normal rent and a ridiculous power bill. m health is degenerating, im not sleeping, eating or drinking right. i got severely sunburnt at big day out, then fucked my back up at martial arts, then had to work an extra long shift including unloading a truck. one of my more bitchy workmates has taken offence to one of my comments and is being extra bitchy, coinciding with all my shifts being with her for the last 2 weeks. the most irritating of all the regulars at work has ome back, after being gone for almost 3 months. for the first time in months i have the entire weeken off (is rare for me to get 2 days off in a row, let alone saturday and sunday) and my best friend has the fucking plague or something. everyone else is away or has previous engagements. to say im having woman troubles is an understatement, and the guy thats quasi-stalking me now knows where i work. my ex (who is still a very close friend) is having some major troubles at the moment and i cant get into contact with her, and i have also lost contact with a couple of very good, very old friends.

fuck i wish i had something to take the edge of it, but im all out of booze and cant afford any more. please, have a heart - send bourbon and/or beer to the "get monkey toxically intoxicated" fund. much 'preciated. nd sorry if you actually read all that - as i said, needed to vent a little.

[keiko]

*hugs* baby i feel your pain. and here- just because misery loves company-

i'm 25, divorced, still living with my ex, in debt $10k, the repoed my car while i was over seas leaving me not only ride-less but srsly fucking my credit. I'm still in FL where there is no public transport, with no job and no money. everything I own has been in a box for the last 7 years and some time in the next week i have to suck it up and go visit the thing what calls herself my mother. I've been in a dry spell for the last 2 yrs the closest thing i have to a best friend told me he thought i was obsessive and stalkery cause I call him sexy, so he dumped me. And my next closest friend is 1200+ miles away.

As much as I like booze right now i'd rather have the money. I'd like about $5k by the end of April so I can move the fuck outta here and off to Seattle where friends (+) wait.

~K

[TheDeathKnight]

When life is perfect, and going great, it's not usually going to keep going up and up and up, unless you are incredibly lucky or talented. It's often more likely that if things are good, they are eventually going to turn bad. But the good thing, is that if things are bad, and you keep working, and trying to make things better, they usually will get better. Like if you are single, and had a break up, eventually you will find someone new. If you are broke, but keep working, you will eventually have some money again.

[Mr Karl]

I'd always tell myself that nothing lasts forever...........worked for me,

gotta go...degrassi's on...now theres some real problems

[Camby Savelle]

When everything is going bad you need to look to yourself and find what makes you happy. That's what I do.

[evilstonermonkey]

meh, at the time all the things i usually do to chill/calm down were unavailable... things got a little better today - i got a bigger pay than i expected, and while i will be stone broke for the next few weeks i wont be out of home and wont be blacked out. also i found a dollar coin w00t! im rich!

unfortunately usually when i talk to other people about my problems they dismiss them... most of my friends are earning 2 or 3 times the amount i am, so look at my couple of hundred dollar expenses and say "pfft, im paying such and such on car payments" or whatever. i dont have many big problems, but theres a whole gremlin army after me with a million million little ones...

[OliX]

Life is easier for some and harder for others depending in what they're born.

Learn how to control the changes in your life. If you let changes afect your state of mind you'll end up in pieces....

[Head Wreck]

stress kills.

just don't let it bother you and push ahead.

I should listen to my own advice however.

just out of curiosity, what Martial art are you studying, surely they should have gone easier on you while you built your back up in strength and flexability to avoid injury?

[evilstonermonkey]

im doing Zen Do Kai, Muay Thai, and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and they do generally go easy on me. i guess i wasnt using the kettleweighs entirely correctly, and pushed myself a little hard whn we did a 20 minute mongrel round at the end. very very sore.

im not letting the changes control my life anymore, im in the process of putting in a few big changes myself.

[VoldtaEngler]

Life is easier for some and harder for others depending in what they're born.

Learn how to control the changes in your life. If you let changes afect your state of mind you'll end up in pieces....

True..but not. Example is I grew up in a lower than average middle class type place..moving from place to place with just my sister and mom, while my wife was born and left at a church, she was adopted by her dad that makes a million a year.

She had a great lavious life growing up, I didnt, but now that were together we are struggling like I have all my life, and this is kinda new to her (we wont ask for help from anybody because we don't want to have to rely on somebody else..plus were too damn nice)

So even now we are struggling with being $2K behind in rent, no car (walk a mile for groceries), our roomate has no job since Nov, so we're most likely going to be kicking him out because we cant afford the 1000K rent a month, the 600$ in bills + $300-$400 for food (he's a BIG guy..he eats like 15 meals a day, plus xbox time you know..)

So now we're most likely going to have to come up with the back rent, plus find a 1 bdrm place for less than 600$ a month, come up with security/first/last months rent, transfer all the bills over (which here in GA require a 50$ fee and new deposit), so we're looking at the impossible here all before April 1st!

Impossible? Maybe.. but then again we pull off some fucked up miracles..like moving from Chicago to ATL with only $300 total 3 years ago, living in a car, working from a car..and somehow still managed everything.

Chin up ESM..it may look drab now..but at least everybody here at BB is a shoulder to lean on.. :^)

[theUnclean]

I was wondering where those fukn gremlins went! Sorry to hear they found you evil, if you were around I would buy you a couple of rounds

[evilstonermonkey]

actually the last couple of days have been pretty good... maybe all i needed to do was list out my grievances to the universe so it would feel sorry for me... or it got sick of my whining
but seriously, my sick friend is better, and planning a party for this weekend, the finance problem isnt solved, but isnt going to be a real problem anymore and might just be the kick in the arse i need to get me to be more careful with my spending. my ds is still dead, but once my bills are paid i can spare the $60 or so itll take to buy a second hand one. i found out where my mp3 player got left, and will be getting it back tomorrow night, hopefully in good working order. last night at training i left feeling invigorated, and learned some new stuff, came home to a wonderful roast chicken and a bottle of good wine and had the best night sleep i can remember.
on an introspective note, its very possible that i needed this string of badluck to inspire me to get my shit together. im re-picking up some old hobbies, so im spending less time just laying around doing nothing (therefore doing less moping and dwelling on the past), ive replaced my old drumskins and will be starting up drum lessons again soon, and im going to (hopefully) start doing volunteer work at the local bar so that i can earn the experience needed to actually get real bar work. life is rough at the moment, but at least rough is better than boring

[OliX]

damn, I like your last post ESM

my problem is that I feed on others emotions, if they're happy I'm happy, wright now I fed on your optimism and it made me more optimistic... thanx

problem with me was lot's of free time too. now when I have stuff to do I feel better... Artistic hobbies are best, f.ex. music making makes me feel like a kid again