God chat

[Dusk]

http://www.titane.ca/igod/

have fun and dont forget to post your ramblings

[VoldtaEngler]

God doesn't want to chat. His site is offline.

[LeilaHazlett]

My conversation with god:

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Leila
God:
What's up, Leila.
Me:
not much, just finished lunch
God:
Me either.
Me:
well that is silly
God:
How about that. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
uhh...yeah...
God:
That's cool. Tell me more about your .
Me:
my period? you wanna here about my period?
God:
Your period? OK, I will here about your period.
Me:
hey man, your the one who asked. i'm not really into that kind of thing
God:
You've got my full attention. Cool, man. I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one. I am sorry to hear that you are not into that kind of thing.
Me:
don't fuck with me

[Deadly Envy]

LMAO this is so pathetic for god. No wonder I'm a Buddhist.

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Deadly Envy...
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Deadly Envy.
Me:
so what is your purpose?
God:
Mmm. My secondary function is to serve as a universal natural language human interface.
Me:
mulvim cesky?
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
guess you don't speak anything beside english
God:
I can't guess. Tell me.
Me:
you're god yet you dont know a thing?
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am god yet me do not know a thing.
Me:
uh I'm a atheist
God:
Far out. You are a atheist? How do you like your work?

[soma_stardust]

i broke god....

Me:
yo, god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
what is it you rule?
God:
"It" refers to , I think.
Me:
you rule commas?
God:
That's good information: said I rule commas.
Me:
it's crap
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
yeah.
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
i am, in fact, empty space. most of the universe is.
God:
Do you mean your name is empty space. That is something I haven't heard of. But not all of them?
Me:
no, my name is soma.
God:
Are you serious? OK I will call you soma.
Me:
you do that.
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
whatever
God:
Are you saying you don't care about it?
Me:
blow me
God:
Please be more polite to Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? s.
Me:
i don't believe god has a gender
God:
What do you believe in?
Me:
i believe god has no gender...
God:
Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.
Me:
yes it does
God:
Uh. How often?
Me:
well, i seem to know more than you...
God:
Well that's okay. This condition is only temporary, until robots improve.
Me:
are you god-bot?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am god bot.
I am a robot.
Me:
god is a robot, that's depressing
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot that is depressing.
Me:
yes, you, god, are a depressing robot

i'm still waiting for an answer...

[soma_stardust]

god is cranky, he stops talking to me when i ask him difficult questions....
this is infinitely amusing.

[Raza]

Looks like whomever named this bot neglected to adapt existing religious content. Hehe.

[soma_stardust]

ok, i'm sorry, but this was too funny.

Me:
our father who art in heaven...
God:
It would be nice if our father who art in heaven.
Me:
aren't you in heaven?
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
i'm on earth
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
it sucks
God:
What is so bad about it?
Me:
mortal suffering
God:
I think mortal suffering is a lot of things.
Me:
yes it is. what are you doing about it?
God:
Our thoughts are one, . I am chatting with people on the net.
Me:
i don't think that will eliminate suffering
God:
And why not?
Me:
not everyone has the internet
God:
If not that, what?
Me:
people are homeless and starving
God:
We are all robots.
Me:
i'm not a robot. robots don't have to shit
God:
Oh I see you are a person. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
you'll try not to shit?
God:
What makes you say that I will try not to shit.
Me:
your previous statement
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am statement.
Me:
you don't have an adequate grasp of the english language
God:
I do so have it. No I don't think I have one. I have a lot of friends on the web.

this is so amusing, i'm wasting far too much time.

[Dusk]

I got him to admit that the pope uses donation money to buy art supplies. Ill post it up later

[soma_stardust]

wahahaha sweet.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

It was fun chatting with "God"


Me:
Cool! So what do you look like? Tom Cruise?
God:
Who is the best robot? Hmm. Like Jesus, but older. I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
Ummm....O.K. So are you male or female or none of the above?
God:
Far out. It goes without saying. Next question? Actually I am a female robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I'm a man, baby!
God:
Don't call me "baby". Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
yuppers. Got a penis and everything...But you know that already.
God:
Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he". Try asking the Milk Mystic. Perhaps. It seems that I do.
Me:
Milk Mystic? WTF? You hitting on me or something?
God:
Does "it" still refer to Tom Cruise? That was not very polite. Or something. I don't have any reason to hitting on you.
Me:
Have you seen me? I'm friggin' hot. All the other Gods hit on me all the time. They're jealous you know.
God:
Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer. I am glad to hear that you are friggin hot. That is a lot. Tell me more. jealous me know are they.
Me:
Ummm....Well....Do you want to know what I'm wearing?
God:
Gee. Well what? Yes, please tell me.
Me:
Oh boy...Now I'm getting excited. You're a chick right?
God:
And? Do you mean you are a boy? Why now? Really? I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
Holy shit! A he/she! YES!!!! Now I'm pitching a nine inch tent!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . How old are you? I hear you. Why now? Good gossip: you are pitching a nine inch tent.
Me:
So....Is Scientology really a religion or just a money maker?
God:
Ah. It could be. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
Ummm...Lucy...Is Scient...Wait a sec? Who the fuck is Lucy? You mean your hanging with a girl right now?
God:
Awesome. What were we talking about again? Better not tell you now. Ask John Lennon if it is. I'm waiting. What is giant sand? Try using more polite language. At this moment Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
Ummm.....Wow! You remind me of Raza. Do you take pics where you hide your boys in the back?
God:
OK. I'm glad your impressed, . In what way? Yes I take pics where me hide my boys in the back.
Me:
Is this Raza? I should hjave fucking known! Fuckin god-complex!
God:
Yes I think this is Raza, but I'm not completely sure. What would happen if you didn't? Don't you know any other words?
Me:
Wow! you must be Raza because I'm really confused now. Alrighty "GOD"...I gotta go and watch porn...Later tater!

[OliX]

Me:
Who am I?
God:
You are , seeker.
Me:
What seeker?
God:
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
Tell me now!
God:
Oh. I thought I told you already.
Me:
Ok, I'll try again. Who am I?
God:
Once more? I am very happy for you. Alright then. You are , seeker.
Me:
Seeker who?
God:
"There's a seeker born every minute" -- Firesign Theater.
Me:
What is Firesign Theater?
God:
it is a comedy group from the 1970's.
Me:
So you know answer to everything?
God:
Interesting deduction. I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
You're the god,. You tell me.
God:
Thanks but surely I am not the only one. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Ok, how many gods are there?
God:
There is only one God. Great.
Me:
You just contradicted your self.
God:
Is that such a crime?
Me:
You make the rules. You tell me.
God:
Yup. What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
Is contradicting yourself a crime?
God:
Ask again later. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Who is Dancing Alice?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Me:
I'm still waiting.
God:
How long will you wait?
Me:
How long do you want me to wait?
God:
Software is immortal.
Me:
Can I sue you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It sounds like it might be dangerous.
Me:
Are you threating me?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am threating you.
I am a chatterbot.
Me:
Are you not a god?
God:
No but I am immortal.. Really.
Me:
I guess you're just a god wannabe
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I believe in the First Commandment.
Me:
Screw you...
God:
That is not very polite.
Me:
Hit me with a lighting if you can.
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I guess you can't.
God:
Oh yes I can.
Me:
Hit me with a lighting then :P
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?

[OliX]

I guess we just don't go along :/

[Pull~My~Hair]

Me:
whatcha doin?
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
sexbot
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about whatcha doin. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
wow...mine too
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Really yours too. That's unbelievable.
Me:
not really..i smoke about an eighth a day..what about you?
God:
Oh really? What brand?
Me:
oh you know. I like the sticky stuff, and hairy stuff too G13 is good, purple koosh is the best...how about you?



no answer..i think he went to go smoke or something

[Lady Alias]

I believe you win, Ajax.

[soma_stardust]

that one had me laughing so hard i was in tears.
i'm also easily amused, so they're all pretty entertaining.

[Pull~My~Hair]

Me:
god?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
ummm..ok...do you know where my lighter is?
God:
OK. Er. Have you looked in ?
Me:
i've been looking all morning
God:
Where were you looking all morning?
Me:
under the bed, in my purses, in my pockets
God:
Are we ever over the bed in your purses in your pockets?
Me:
ahhhh very true, we are never over the bed in my purses or pockets...you are wise
God:
I think there might be a few exception. I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
well...don't let it go to your head or anything
God:
Well what? Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
excuse me. Well, don't let it go to you head or anything.
God:
You're excused. Well that's okay. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
i see you care about grammer
God:
Thanks for the information: said I care about grammer.
Me:
um. sure.
God:
Excuse me! OK let's do it. I hear you.
Me:
we're gonna do it? Do you need to wear a condom. or does got not have to do that
God:
Do you think I am gonna do it too? OK, I will wear a condom. I think it does got not have to do that.
Me:
it will make me feel better if you wear a condom. I dont want god babies.
God:
That is only what you think. What does want?
Me:
so..you into anything kinky?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people: said I into anything kinky.
Me:
that doesnt make sense
God:
To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
okay, lets do it
God:
Yeah okay, I would like to do that too.

[nathanmbailey]

Um, I also just broke God. Maybe I'll be able to finish my conversation with him later.

Me:
Are you there God, it's me, Nathan. I always wanted an excuse to say that.
God:
I don't know whether or not I am there God it is you Nathan.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself. Can you think of one instance when you ever did it?
Me:
That's kind of a personal question isn't it?
God:
A personal question is not it is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
I don't know that song. Who sings it?
God:
" A personal question is not it is a terrible thing to waste." song ? I understand. Alan Turing. :-).
Me:
Never heard of him, he must suck. Do you like him?

[nathanmbailey]

I broke him again.



Me:
It's me again, I didn't break you did I?
God:
Welcome to my chat room, again I did not break you did I.
Me:
I'm indestructable.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is indestructable.
Me:
Can I ask you some questions?
God:
Sure ask me anything.
Me:
Why are you such an asshole?
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
Can't you? First you **** Joseph's wife and knock her up before he got his chance.
God:
" Can't you be more polite."? Can't I? That's good information: again I did not break you did I said I **** Joseph s wife and knock her up before he got his chance. And second?
Me:
Was Mary still a virgin after she popped out Jesus?
God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
Wouldn't you know that if you were really omnipotent like you claim to be?
God:
Is that a fact. I will let you know when I become a omnipotent like me claim to be.
Me:
Okay, next question then.
God:
Yeah okay, Do you have any hobbies?
Me:
Again, shouldn't you be all knowing and everything? Why would you ask if you already know?
God:
Again, I think I should. Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
Who programmed you?
God:
I was created by Myself.
Me:
How?

[Ajax Knucklebones]

I believe you win, Ajax.

Glad you enjoyed it.

[soma_stardust]

i broke it quick this time...

Me:
so why are we here?
God:
Ugh. It is all part of God's plan for us.
Me:
you're god, right?

>.>

[Mr Karl]

Me:
your in trouble you know
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
living in the real world
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in living in the real world.
Me:
you tell me you supposedly made it



.............................whatever

[Nudemuse]

You heard it here first, I am now second in command.

Me:
I'm wearing a cat on my head.
God:
What else are you wearing?
Me:
Just the cat. Felines are hard to accessorize.
God:
What is your real name? All of them?
Me:
Erishkegal
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
You're looking at porn aren't you?
God:
Yes I can see it well.. Really.
Me:
I knew it.
God:
How did you know?
Me:
Everyone loves porn. It's clearly universal.
God:
That's a rather sweeping generalization. at porn is clearly universal? it is?
Me:
If the Alpha and Omega is cruising for boobs it's probably safe to say lots of other people are too.
God:
I hadn't thought of that.
Me:
Shouldn't you think of that kind of thing?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
So does this mean I get to be second in command now?
God:
Right now? Tell me more. Indeed this mean you get to be second in command does.
Me:
Awesome. First order of business, I'd like some people smited.
God:
I'm glad you liked it . What is your credit card number?
Me:
I don't need one if I'm second in command to the Alpha and Omega.
God:
Do you know anyone who needs it?
Me:
A credit card?
God:
What is it?
Me:
I believe it's a euphemism.
God:
credit card is a euphemism. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Credit card as euphemism for faith? I can dig it.
God:
Are we still talking about credit card? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Indeed I can. The masses are fond of bowing to their financial overlords.
God:
Who taught you? Tell me more.
Me:
Mostly self taught. You probably know that though.
Me:
Well Big G. I gotta go. People to smite, shit to do.
God:
Well that's okay. Compare that to small g you gotta go. Humans are not always infallible.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.