"the signals"
ok... let's see... it started a few months ago? just little things. first, we'd just be in the same place.
there was wondercon where he smacked my bottom to check my weight, noticing how i'd gained a few pounds... (thanks a lot... ^.^; )
then, there was a show we were at (my roommate's band, brocas helm - s.f. people can totally come to the show on the 27th, i'd so love it.) and i was a bit tipsy. i was sitting on a table at annie's social club and he came over to talk. i wrapped my leg around his leg, and he rested his hand on my leg. *hand on my leg is a normal "i'm interested" signal, i'm pretty sure.* he also brought me candy.
then... oh, fanime. i guess i made up the thing about how he showed up in san jose every day because he might like my company... but anyway, he smacked my bottom and complimented my recent weight gain yet again (more cushion, etc.) he heard that i had asked about the best black sabbath albums, and proceeded to give me a cd case filled with black sabbath and other bands. (to me, this is a TOKEN OF LUV. but, um... possibly not to the normal person.)
the most recent brocas helm show really did me in though... we stood in the cold forever waiting for the metallica cover band to finish their set.... i so could have leaned in for a smooch but i was so chickenshit (even buzzed) after the brocas helm set, we were sitting on this couch, and i leaned against him... his friend asked if he wanted to go and he said to give him a few minutes... he left and came back and leaned in real close and said "let me know when you wanna hang out." after a year of not seeing him one-on-one, this was (to me) practically asking for a date. u_u
idk.... looking back on it i can kinda see how i could be wrong. i guess. maybe i was just seeing what i wanted to see? i should have been less subtle because he wasn't picking up anything from me. >.< and these were all, evidently, innocent gestures. but i guess for two ultimately shy people... it just seemed... like *something...*
ass-smacking, leg-touching, gift-giving, being alone together for lengthened periods of time, asking to hang out...
not that it matters now! now i know... i don't think it was stupid to make a move based on these signals, i just probably should have done it differently. it doesn't really matter since it's done! and i'm relatively pleased about it. i think. he's not going anywhere and neither am i.
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