Something I was wondering: what is your ideal club?

[ForrestBlack]

I've always loved that the Dragonfly has an entry to the huge star studded smoking patio on both sides of the stage which makes it pretty casual to walk through to see if anyone you know is back there. I very much loved the stage view from the second floor overlook at First Ave. in Minniapolis. I miss the black brick basement and most of all, the concrete pillar in the middle of the pit at the old 9:30 club in D.C. I loved the anonymous dingey basement parties on random streets of San Fran. The port city industrial vibe of the Boathouse in Norfolk. The chainlink atmosphere of Metro in Chicago, followed by the warm homespun welcome of No Exit. The creepy dancefloor basement of Deathguild in S.F. (it's been a long time), not to mention the we don't give a fuck if you have an 11" knife on your utility belt attitude. I like having Tommy and the always beautiful John Koviak behind the turn tables at Bar Sinister. The friendly folks at Bats. I even miss the rare but crazy underground punkrock gangster mayhem at the old Roxy in D.C. Etc. I even honestly appreciate the foundation room/membership option at House of Blues these days. I could obviously go on and on...

What are your favorite attributes of your favorite clubs (current and past), and exactly why? Secondly, what do you feel would be the ideal features and/or attributes of your ideal club, if you had ultimate control to design your perfect venue?

[skully]

though far from perfect i loved many things about the recently closed club manray in boston. it had two great rooms for dancing and having fun and one chill room with the music overflowing for people to talk. tons of bars so you never had to wait plus each bartender had there characteristics that could fit anyones style. oneperson made text book drinks picture perfect mixxing one made you drunk as hell one had the best tasting drinks, one could remember a 10 drink order andforget to charge you for all of them as long as you remembered to tip... i also loved the performances(although some good some bad). i loved the complimentary mix of goth and fetish. something that is seriously lacking in nyc imo. i loved the fact that there was a dress code but they were pretty easy going about it (basically wear black or look otherwise fantastic)it was nice to be able to go in a pair of black jeans and a black shirt on bum days or pull out all the stops whenever you felt like it.

so far my new favorite nyc club night is byte. the upstairs is like a jungle habitat(that i assume is open to the sky during nice weather, it was closed when i went) that was awesome to smoke and talk and generally hang out.
the main floor was kool but way to packed and the music was pretty good
the basement was alright at least a nice change of pace...and a good overall vibe... the biggest problem was not enough dancing room nor big enough dungeon space..

so here is what i look for:
1)non-pretentious crowd, i don't want to feel like i don't belong b/c I'm not a 10year regular this is just more of a vibe.
2)packed not crowded(you should have to turn your shoulder to get past someone but you can still bust a move on the dance floor with out hitting or being hit.
3)place to sit and people watch
4)place to sit and chat with friends where you can hear the music feed off the vibe but still have a conversation with more then one person mouth to ear like
5) fashion, people should be dressed up...i am usualy bothered by nyc goth nights due to the lack of fashion i don't mind a few people wearing the above mentioned black jeans and black t-shirt look but when the entire club is wearing the exact same thing... damn people show some style show some originality show some effort. (this is generally why i like the fetish events a bit more)
6) different rooms for different tastes in music. nuff said
7)smoking in the club...lets face it people... the only thing everyone noticed when they cut out the smoking was how much body odor a club filled with people could produce.

[sheramil]

Abyss, in Melbourne, when it was at that former 19th century bluestone jail up near Spencer Street.

there were solitary confinement cells you could lock people in. what's better, they had rooms that had chairs in. armchairs, even. so you could sit down and talk.

[MistressJennifer]

I wrote an entire script about my ideal club!!! That's basically what my film is about! I still have TONS of bigshots interested...

So hopefully when it gets made, we can all be in it!

[Morning Glory]

hm. upon reading this it immediately called to mind the song "Reinventing Axl Rose " By Against Me (a song, unfortunately, far more idealic then the actual band turned out to be.)

"We want a band that plays loud and hard every night, and doesn't care how many people are counted at the door. Though, they'd travel one million miles and ask for nothing but a plate of food and a place to rest. They'd strike chords that cut like a knife. It means so much more than a T-shirt or a ticket stub. They would stop at nothing short of a massacre. And everyone would leave with the memory that there was no place else in the world; this is where they always belonged. We would dance like no one was watching, with one fist in the air. Our arena's just basements and bookstores across an underground America.
Just give me a scene where the music is free and the beer is not the life of the party. And there's no need to shit-talk or impress, cuz honesty and emotion are not looked down upon. And every promise that's made and bragged, is meant, if not kept. We do it all because we have to, not because we know why. Beyond a gender, race and class we could find what really holds us back. Let's make everybody sing that they are the beginning and ending of everything. And we're all stronger than everything they taught us that we should fear."

[TheDeathKnight]

1. Dress code. The wilder your outfit, the quicker you get in.

2. Good DJ. Nothing worse than a DJ that can't mix songs together seamlessly.

3. Decor, Decor, Decor. Most clubs in LA rent the venue, so they can't fully decorate.

4. Quiet areas. There has to be areas to talk, where the music is not blasting.

5. Bands are a good extra thing to have.

6. Go-Go dancers.

7. Fetish and bondage shows.

8. Mysterious layout. I like to wander the club, and have lots of hidden little rooms.

9. Lots of bars, so there is not a huge wait for drinks. Cheap drinks a bonus.

[malcolm]

i liked club five in jacksonville....one of the few clubs i actually did like down there. they also had a "goth" club down there but it was very formal a sin you couldnt touch people and shit. very dull. but lcub five used to be one of those big ass two story movie theatres and they turned it into a club with gogo platforms above the dance floor which still housed movie screens that they played freaky movies on over the music and it ha da caged room for hip hop and regatone in the back. plus the big comfy couches. nice.

[Vitorro]

1. Dress code. The wilder your outfit, the quicker you get in.

2. Good DJ. Nothing worse than a DJ that can't mix songs together seamlessly.

3. Decor, Decor, Decor. Most clubs in LA rent the venue, so they can't fully decorate.

4. Quiet areas. There has to be areas to talk, where the music is not blasting.

5. Bands are a good extra thing to have.

6. Go-Go dancers.

7. Fetish and bondage shows.

8. Mysterious layout. I like to wander the club, and have lots of hidden little rooms.

9. Lots of bars, so there is not a huge wait for drinks. Cheap drinks a bonus.

That about sums it u for Me, but alas, nothing in this area but country music and line dancing Ewewwww

[grebo]

my ideal club

[killerkat]

I'm more of a "bar kinda guy"..than a club person..

as a matter of fact,i really don't like clubs for the most part...


show me an old beat-up ,loud,wild ass bar..and i'm smiling though...

[Evilbink]

I'm hanging with KK, more drinky, drinky..less dancy dancy LOL

although DeathKnight's place sounds cool.

[TheDeathKnight]

Yeah, my version of a club, has bars, and quiet areas, and extra rooms, that are separate from the dance floor area... Cool bars, cool lounge rooms, S&M rooms,
make-out rooms, etc...

[MistressJennifer]

Yeah, my version of a club, has bars, and quiet areas, and extra rooms, that are separate from the dance floor area... Cool bars, cool lounge rooms, S&M rooms,
make-out rooms, etc...

Here is your perfect club!!!!


http://www.pca.org/

[TheDeathKnight]

I don't think they have bondage shows...

[Nudemuse]

My favorite clubs tend to have multiple bars inside, great decoration (extra props for supporting local artists), enough places to sit down if need be, a decent sized dancefloor. And great patrons help.

On the other hand I really love dive bars where you can sit and drink with old men who tell really bad jokes. I think it really depends on my mood/

[Rockwulf]

I'm more of a "bar kinda guy"..than a club person..

as a matter of fact,i really don't like clubs for the most part...


show me an old beat-up ,loud,wild ass bar..and i'm smiling though...

Ditto

[latex_layer]

If you go to see a punk band in Vegas, you're headed to a strip mall. No kidding. Every venue for that type of music here is attached to a nail salon, a Payless Shoe Source, and a cell phone provider. And the only place that has really overcome this is the Double Down. Spray-painted walls, cramped quarters, structural posts holding up the beams... makes for an interesting mosh.

[MistressJennifer]

I don't think they have bondage shows...

I don't know... A lot of the Porsche drivers are a bit kinky.

When I was in highschool I had three coke dealer boyfriends (all in their 30's) who used to pick me up in their Porsche's & leather upholstered Jaguars .

I was just a sweet, innocent girl... Sigh...

SO that is my nostalgia for Porsches... But a leather upholstered Jaguar would be OK too... Or a Rolls Royce of course...

[TheDeathKnight]

Most Porsche drivers are uptight, arrogant pricks.
At least in LA.

What you ran into, were coke dealers, who happened
to have the money to get a Porsche. They aren't the
"normal" Porsche owner.

And yes, coke dealers tend to be kinky.

[Buster Friendly]

When I was in highschool I had three coke dealer boyfriends (all in their 30's) who used to pick me up in their Porsche's & leather upholstered Jaguars .

I was just a sweet, innocent girl... Sigh...

.

oh, you're THAT girl...pffft!



coke dealers are alot more fun when you set them on fire...

[TheQuietPlace]

hahahaha I thought this was about the sandwich. I'm such a fat kid

[TheDeathKnight]

There you go:

[MistressJennifer]

I want a club sandwich!! That looks so good!!! Can I have that sandwich please?

[MistressJennifer]

oh, you're THAT girl...pffft!



coke dealers are alot more fun when you set them on fire...

Hah!!!!

[MistressJennifer]

Most Porsche drivers are uptight, arrogant pricks.
At least in LA.

What you ran into, were coke dealers, who happened
to have the money to get a Porsche. They aren't the
"normal" Porsche owner.

And yes, coke dealers tend to be kinky.

OK so now you have to give me a ride in your vintage red Porsche and bring lots of coke!!!! hah!!!

[Morning Glory]

...Spray-painted walls, cramped quarters, structural posts holding up the beams... makes for an interesting mosh.

haha. good old structural beams. where they'd duct tape a peice of foam to them- safety first.

[-=Asmodeus=-]

There was a club that we used to go to....The Velvet Underground...GREAT PLACE...
The whole place was built in an underground parking garage, The ceilings were completly drapped in blood red Velvet with lights behind the velvet....

Had three seperate levels...
The first floor (Ground level) was the bar area...Local bands three seperate bars...And lots of room to sit...

The second floor (Second Sub Level) was DJ'd...Rap, Hip hop, ETC...Had stripper poles all around the room and great lighting effects...Had seating all around the perimiter..

The third floor (Third Sub Level) Was the techno/Rave floor...DJ'd As well...AND They would invite guest DJs and locals to come in...Very dark setting..The walls were made to look like a medieval dungeon...There were cages hanging from the ceiling...AGAIN lots of lighting effects and they piped LOTS of smoke machines through Cold boxes which makes the smoke stay low to the ground....

The greatest thing about this place was it was for the most part ALL underground so it was never hot in there...

BUT ALAS...all good things must come to an end...there was a fire in the third level one night...And the whole club went up and never rebuilt...No one died...the parking garage had many exits so everyone got out....OH and the 5 above ground levels were parking EXCLUSIVELY for club goers..So you didnt have to hunt for parking much...GREAT club lotsa good memories...

[-=Asmodeus=-]

Here found these pages...Very cool club listings...

http://www.geocities.com/skulz55/clublinks.html

http://www.vamp.org/Gothic/clublist.html

Enjoy

[Umbilical Lotus]

Clubs make me feel remarkably nervous. Introvert power, go! Form of social anxiety! Form of bad haircut!

Nevertheless, something subterranean, labyrinthine (I have a thing for exploration), with quiet areas, good bathrooms and a good few handfuls of those blessedly friendly people who will come up and hang with you even if you're alone, soaking up the atmosphere and look slightly psychotic. That'd be pretty nice, and might actually exist around me for all I know.

[Dr. Faust]

I think the ideal club would be Succubus based. The waitresses would wear red satin shorts, sort of like the orange shorts Hooter girls wear,and a white half t shirt exposing the midriff with a little red succubus over the heart aas the club would be called Clud Succubus.
The girls would also wear a forked tail attached to their shorts and little red plastic horns, and shoes that resembled split cloven feet. A hell decor in the club with fog and those orange like streamers that resemble flames. A strip club, or course.

[Pull~My~Hair]

I think something very chill...with lots of fabic and lots of booze. Kinda cushy and sleek at the same time. Plus I can NOT stand a club where the music is so freaking loud that it sounds like shit...The music must sound supa-rad, or it's not a club.

[Shivvenfist]

I enjoy large, outdoor venues under the stars with large crowds, as opposed to dank, crowded cellar type places. Look what happened to Great White.

LMAO.