Jessica

[Jessica]

Hello! My name is Jessica.

I'm 24 and slightly worried that I haven't found a niche. It seems like I'm a chronic newbie to every lifestyle or aspect of life. I'm not specificaly educated on any one topic and I tend to be the person in any social group that everyone rolls their eyes at because they've said something too corny or contrite. Sometimes I'm ok with this. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable with it.

I "dabble" in everything and therefore suffer from being the perpetual newbie. Casual RPG'er. Casual political activist. Casual conversationalist. Casual historian. Casual writer. To sum it up, hear the dreaded cry "I don't fit in" *insert dramatic arm flailing and pained glance to the heavens*

I fear others think me a poseur. But I honestly just have an interest in trying everything... even if they completely contradict each other. I feel that, if I wanted to adorn myself with cowboy attire and rock out to death metal, I should be able to without question. And I would do something like that... simply for the fun of it.

- I cut my own hair. Sometimes that doesn't turn out so well.
- I'm a 3D artist concentrating on 3D modeling and animation.
I moved from New Jersey to California at the end of 2000 and I'm still suffering culture shock.
- I'm working corporate while I'm in college. It pays the bills but it is stunting my creativity.
- I was afraid of posting because I am anti-social these days and fear rejection. However, I knew once I read the "how to dispose of a dead body" thread and felt I had found a place where creativity might be thriving.
- I like all types of music. Frank Sinatra and The Last Dance are the currently "most played' artists on my playlist.
- I like pigtails
- Though I'm going to school for 3D art, I'm thinking I rather be a screen writer
- I have two cats, a hermit crab, and one hamster. I used to have two but one ate the other.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

Please tell me something strange about yourself. Feel free to be creative with it, but make sure it's 100% absolutely true.

[VoldtaEngler]

nobody gets rejected around here....well..maybe rockwulf on halloween..but thats a different story.

something strange about myself...hrmm...i grew up in a family where my great grandfather had 2 thumbs on 1 hand and my brother grew horns (literally) that had to be removed...im a mutant

[ForrestBlack]

I think you will fit in here just fine. Most of the folks here are kind of impossible to easily lump into one specific cultural category. To me, it's the people that present themselves as 100% one 'type' that are pretty much always the poseur.

Let's see, offbeat factoid, I actually built one of Frank Sinatra's websites for Capitol Records a while back.

[Pull~My~Hair]

hi there, looks like we both are plaqued with Newbitis

something weird...I have two tounges...theres a picture somewhere on the board

[Mr Karl]

you'll do fine, uh I was wondering, is your hamster the cannibal or the crab

and hello

[Lady Alias]

Well, you won't be gettin no VOID stamp from me.
Move along now, watch your step.
Please disgregard furute carcasses unless you are one of those people who likes them brains.

[Rockwulf]

Hey, welcome to a fellow 3d artist.

Post some of your stuff when you gt a chance.

[DARKGYM]

Yeah we're quite a robust bunch here, people from all walks of life. I'm pretty sure you'll fit in nicely. Something strange.......I have a craving for nightmares (addicted to fear perhaps?).

I love your quote/slogan.

[Jessica]

The hamster is the cannibal and ate her cage-mate about two weeks after I got them for my boyfriend for xmas. At first, we thought maybe they had mated and she had eaten him for fear that he might harm the babies. But it's been a couple months now and no babies.

So the other theory is that, after many territorial battles over the wheel, she got sick of him and decided to eat his head. I don't blame her... my boyfriend and I have morning squabbles about the bathroom too.

[Mr Karl]

so are you going to get another hamster for her?

[Spaceman Spiff]

Hello and welcome...I'm not great at fitting in eithor, but I'm sure you'll do fine here.

...hum...something about me...I'm color blind, and whenever I tell that to a group of people at least one of them asks if I only see in shades of gray...like a dog or something?

[mmmcherry]

- I cut my own hair. Sometimes that doesn't turn out so well.

ME TOO!!!
but then i met my boyfriend jamie and his sister is a hairdresser...
either way i still want my dreadlocks.
ANYWHOODLES hiiii

hmm... weird fact... well not so weird... im using one of those ergonomic keyboards right now, cause on my regular keyboard, the C, V, M and period and enter keys stopped working. FOR NO REASON AT ALL grr. but... the B is on the wrong side of this frigging thing. i keep typing N instead of B cause its where my finger naturally goes to type the B.
stupid keyboards.

[Mirren]

Hello and welcome.

[TheQuietPlace]

hello, welcome.

Something strange: I once made a huge cookie, but I used to much baking soda or something, and it turned into a weird cookie cake thing that no one touched.

[Mindgames]

Ahoyhoy... (too many welcomes.. need a new word). Don't worry about fitting in, we're here because we don't. Society is like a dental surgery - much more fun when you're on the outside looking in.

Strange factlette.. I've got a part-time job where I get paid to beat cops with sticks, and unlike when I was on tour, this time it's legal. The rest of the week I do what you're learning.

mG

[sheramil]

the best niche is the one where you can say "i occupy no niche." lots of people in that, these days.

[Morning Glory]

I occupy nietzsche

[Bondage Clown]

The hamster is the cannibal and ate her cage-mate about two weeks after I got them for my boyfriend for xmas. At first, we thought maybe they had mated and she had eaten him for fear that he might harm the babies. But it's been a couple months now and no babies.

So the other theory is that, after many territorial battles over the wheel, she got sick of him and decided to eat his head. I don't blame her... my boyfriend and I have morning squabbles about the bathroom too.

I had a squirrel in my garage that was pregnant and ate her young.. it would scream at me.. I hate squirrles.. I hate hate hate hate hate them.. did I mention that squirrles and I don't get along..

Welcome and be merry.. have lots of dreams of midgets jumping tthrough walls.. It is ifun..

[Jax]

Welcome to BB. I think youll find we are all a bit odd in some aspect, and welcome diversity;]

[Black Spiral Dancer]

Odd? I'll have you know I'm quite even, no matter what my wife says!!!

[the_darkness_calls]

I occupy nietzsche

anyhoo, hello there and welcome! hrm, something strange about myself..... when i was a kid, i wanted to be a flower child when i grew up. oh, and not that it's that strange, but when i had just the outline part of my tattoos done, my old roomies always liked to color them in with markers. and i let them. hehe

[Baby_Switchblade]

hehe, I've cut my own hair before. Turned out shite all 3 times. And then there's the several times I cut my own fringe (the shorter my hair is, the curlier it is... and for some reason I didn't think of that after the first time I cut it!!!).

Anyway, you seem decent enough, welcome to BB! *waves*

[Black Spiral Dancer]

Something strange about me? When my mother's dog first came to the house (a samoyed that she rescued from an abusive family), the silly pup didn't know how to howl! So being a good wolf fan, I had to teach her... Very confusing for my mother, trying to tell where the dog's howling stopped and mine started.

[mmmcherry]

I had a squirrel in my garage that was pregnant and ate her young.. it would scream at me..

heh i think she ate her babies cause you kept coming into the garage and bugging her...
rodents will do that sometimes. ew.

[vinylkitty]

Welcome, and no worries, this is a pretty diverse crowd of freaks1


interesting factoid: my favorite show as a child was "Quincy".

[Evilbink]

Welcome and enjoy........square peg in a round hole, and loving it.

[BloodredProject2402]

welcome, dont worry i face the same problem you do.....i have 4 friends outside of blueblood.....

[scaramanga]

i have very strange nightmares that encourage me to view the world in a ... strange? different? loopy? way. it's inherited.

[Mirren]

Inquiring people want to know factoid; I was born with Spina Bifida.. and I just say it's a tiny hole where my tail never grew

[Agnry Faic]

dotn worei teh agner loves yuo >:C

[Pull~My~Hair]

dotn worei teh agner loves yuo >:C

[Flip]

hmm, missed this hello thread,


hi! *waves*

[sheramil]

I occupy nietzsche

i pwned Nietzsche. several times. admittedly, there was a gang of us.

http://groups.google.com.au/groups/s...ob&qt_s=Search

[Jessica]

Hi guys,

It's me again. I joined this community several years ago because I had an interest in the music/fashion/scene. I don't entirely remember why I disappeared. But I'm here again! I don't think I got very involved and I didn't have a chance to make any friends on the board. BUT I do remember feeling welcome and really wishing I had had ANY clue as to how to find people such as yourselves "offline". And I recently did.... maybe... I think. It's still pretty new.

My 8 year relationship ended about April... though I just finally decided to cut the guy off from jerking me around three weeks ago...
And then failed and talked to him last week...
And then recommitted to not talking to him immediately. Ha.
So my life has been completely changed. I'm trying to adjust and get on my feet again.

A friend of mine whom I have known of and have drifted in and out of each other's lives for the past ... almost 10 years frequents a goth club in San Jose. When my breakup started happening, she had me come out with her to drink a little, listen to some music, dance out some pain, and meet new people. I've been going pretty steady for about a month and a half. I am very happy to finally be experiencing the culture a little live and in person. I feel a little out of place but that's still kinda everywhere I go anyway. The promoters of the club are a couple of great guys that try to book fun shows and keep things moving. I am sad that overall it seems like a dwindling scene.

I'm going to take some time to browse the boards and see what's going on. I'm sorry if I'm clueless or naive about anything.

But essentially I'd like to know... what's new?

[darkzun]

Hello Jessica

I think you seem like a very interesting and nice person. Someone I wouldn't mind getting to know even. I recognize your dilemma there but I don't think you should worry about it, because people who knows a bit about everything can be interesting and can stick in a line here and there. Just make sure you know what you're talking about, savvy? If you want to narrow your path a bit and become more sharp in an area you have a lot to choose from right there. You mentioned some great stuff actually. Just pick the thing you enjoy most and try to find people with that interest and bla bla bla...

I'm kinda antisocial myself and I don't belong to any social group at all. How do you think that feels? I would rather belong to a group and be a retard in it than being alone. There you have something to compare with. But I'm not really a hardcore goth with the clothing style and the whole package. I just have the music style, a slightly emo hairstyle and "rock" clothing style. I also enjoy art, horror and candlelight, so I guess I'm a little bit goth in my soul. :P

Sorry about your relationship but having one for 8 years, that wasn't bad. You can feel like you've accomplished something. With your newfound contacts and clubbing you can find a new guy pretty fast if that's what you want. I have an advice though. Don't go for the bad guys. Try to meet someone who is considerate and cares about your feelings. You have been with an asshole and you're done with that type now. Good luck in your life.

[Reena]

Hey missis! I am the same - joined ages ago and not really done much since...sorry to hear about you and the boy, but you will meet someone better xx

[Mr Karl]

wow...it's been a long time....hello

[Jessica]

so are you going to get another hamster for her?

To answer your question from 6 years ago (cough), no Mr. Karl. We did not continue to promote her cannibalism habits hehe!

[Jessica]

Hey missis! I am the same - joined ages ago and not really done much since...sorry to hear about you and the boy, but you will meet someone better xx

Thanks Reena. I'm going to focus a lot on getting myself together and moving on. I want to figure out who I am outside of that relationship, who I want to be, meet people and make new friends, experience the world a little... and if I happen to meet someone that fits well, see what happens!

[Jessica]

Good luck in your life.

Hey darkzun!

I'm pretty much ok with being a Jack of all Trades, Master at None (or however that clever little saying goes) at this point. I try not to pretend that I know more than I do about any particular thing. If I end up speaking with someone who DOES know more, I end up just asking a bunch of questions. I find that people are ok with me not knowing stuff but having a genuine interest rather than trying to pretend to know what I'm talking about at all times.

I am more at ease with dabbling in the different social groups that I associate with. I mostly fit in and then maybe offer something a little different that they're not used to - and that might just be why people have hung around for so long.

The dude isn't an "asshole" per se. At least not at his core. He just went a little crazy, I think. But I'm not sure. Not a lot of closure there, unfortunately. I wish him luck. Thank you for the luck and talk to you more later!