Ooh, personal attention.
I don't know if I don't want to hear about that. I'm sure that I don't want to
see it, but hearing might be alright.
Well, there's a lot of philosophical bullshit in my understanding of my role in this world, but I'll try and keep it juicy. My place in the world is as an individual, and my self assigned purpose is to enjoy the ride. Eudaimonism - hedonism sounds nicer, but doesn't quite cut it - sets the goalposts, a systematic kind of aestheticism the preferred (unavoidable?)
method. Which is endlessly convenient, since aesthetics justify
anything, so long as I feel it enhances the picture.
My perception of life is akin to that of an endlessly large and open-ended RPG. I am my character, of and by myself a blank slate, capable of being and achieving anything there it to do in the world laid out before me. Goals are set dually to provide a course to experience the ride on and to develop the sum of my persona and capabilities, the most valuable reward because I take them with me to whatever is yet to come. Most people are a lot like NPCs - built as if out of a random selection of a small few common building blocks, with simple scripts and little future that isn't going to be brought to them by circumstance - I seek to set myself apart by analysing what appear to be the 'rules of the game', dividing the true engine mechanics (laws of nature and underlying functionality of the human mind) from the customs, habits and psychological boundaries that constitute the obstacles for the player to overcome to get ahead; level up and solve the puzzle where others keep going in loops.
What I do isn't the point. There's no objective good, to way to finish the game, no reason to want to if you could. There's no xp cap, no limited skill points per level; every experience is valuable. The point is that at any given point of time, I've
got something to move towards that I am convinced is worth it; that what I take with me in the end leaves me more capable of finding satisfaction in future pursuits by allowing me to tackle increasingly impressive goals or look better doing it, to keep the upward spiral going even as my expectations scale proportionally to my perceived personal growth.
Bookmarks