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Thread: Who here can barista?

  1. #1
    Amelia G's Avatar chick in charge
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    Default Who here can barista?

    I just found out that my favorite local coffeehouse (which is a retail outlet for national artisan roasters) offers free lessons with a purchase of a high end espresso machine. I am very excited about this and think I may go with the Rancilio Silvia now. Being able to barista is being able to do the Good Lord's work.

    Today is going to be a hard day though, so we'll see.

    Making bacon and eggs now.

    Who here can barista?

  2. #2
    VoltaireBlue's Avatar just is
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amelia G
    I just found out that my favorite local coffeehouse (which is a retail outlet for national artisan roasters) offers free lessons with a purchase of a high end espresso machine. I am very excited about this and think I may go with the Rancilio Silvia now. Being able to barista is being able to do the Good Lord's work.

    Today is going to be a hard day though, so we'll see.

    Making bacon and eggs now.

    Who here can barista?
    i can.... but i don't drink coffee anymore

  3. #3
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    Quote Originally Posted by Amelia G
    I just found out that my favorite local coffeehouse (which is a retail outlet for national artisan roasters) offers free lessons with a purchase of a high end espresso machine. I am very excited about this and think I may go with the Rancilio Silvia now. Being able to barista is being able to do the Good Lord's work.

    Today is going to be a hard day though, so we'll see.

    Making bacon and eggs now.

    Who here can barista?
    I could probably come close from visual memory. Especially when I'm in school, I tend to get a lot done in the corner of some little local coffeeshop. I asked a few baristas about a home machine btw. There was no real definitive answer there. Hmm think I will go for some coffee now .

    OEC

  4. #4
    Bikerpunk's Avatar Ill-intentioned bad apple
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    You do realise you can also make the world's best scrambled eggs in a barista machine? You basically steam them with the nozzle. They cannot overcook, nor can they go rubbery. Steam the eggs just like you would cream. It rocks.

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    Morning Glory's Avatar Apathetic Voter
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    can I serve coffee? yeah, i'm pretty sure i'm up to the feat of a 16 year old working at starfucks for min wage.

  6. #6
    evilstonermonkey's Avatar Please don't run away...
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    lol, but would you call starbucks coffee?

    i can barista, and id like to think im pretty good at it now (dont get any complaints at least). wouldnt personally get a machine for my home though, as ideally it needs around 20 minutes to warm up, if you dont know how to do shots properly they taste festy, and preparing milk can be a pain. especially if its your 'just staggered out of bed' coffee. but thats just me.

  7. #7
    Bikerpunk's Avatar Ill-intentioned bad apple
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    I have a stovetop espresso maker from Italy.
    ROWR.

  8. #8
    Amelia G's Avatar chick in charge
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Glory
    can I serve coffee? yeah, i'm pretty sure i'm up to the feat of a 16 year old working at starfucks for min wage.
    Making frou-frou coffee correctly is definitely not unskilled labor and Starbucks may be guilty of damaging coffee culture in many cities, but they pay much better than minimum wage and give benefits with, I believe, only like a 25% of full time commitment.

    Mind you, I have Starbucks within walking distance and often drive to the artisan roasters place.

  9. #9
    SyntheticShock's Avatar ...
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    I used to work at Starbucks a while back, I'm sure I could remember most of it right away. I didn't like it so much. At the one I was working we would only get busy in spurts, and I like to constantly do stuff or I get really bored. So there wouldn't be much to do when it got slow.

    I would either have the best customers who were super friendly and enjoyed small talk. Or the snobs who thought they were better than me cause they were buying Starbucks, and I was just the person making their over-priced coffee.

    But I did memorize all of the drinks from our regular customers.

  10. #10
    Bikerpunk's Avatar Ill-intentioned bad apple
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    Starbucks' machines are now automated.

    It is fun to see the stores that still do it manually. Some baristas really go give a shit about their craft and pull shots at the beginning of their shift to see how the machine is acting that day

  11. #11
    evilstonermonkey's Avatar Please don't run away...
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    Quote Originally Posted by SyntheticShock
    I used to work at Starbucks a while back, I'm sure I could remember most of it right away. I didn't like it so much. At the one I was working we would only get busy in spurts, and I like to constantly do stuff or I get really bored. So there wouldn't be much to do when it got slow.

    I would either have the best customers who were super friendly and enjoyed small talk. Or the snobs who thought they were better than me cause they were buying Starbucks, and I was just the person making their over-priced coffee.

    But I did memorize all of the drinks from our regular customers.
    is it true that starbucks uses premade coffee grind biscuits? ive heard that, and its... offputting... i mean, it would have the advantage of consistency, but there are so many downsides it aint funny.

    i hate when people ask for things at my store with the starbucks name - eg our caramelatte (a LATTE with CARAMEL) is called a caramel macchiato at starbucks... but a macchiato is espresso (STRAIGHT espresso) with a stain of milk froth (literally just a teaspoon of milk, although some places use a thin layer of froth instead). it just sounds fancier. and im sorely pressed not to kill anyone who asks for a frappecino.

    i love my job, but goddamn... sometimes its hard to love...

  12. #12
    Bikerpunk's Avatar Ill-intentioned bad apple
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    You mean you can't order a Big Mac at Burger King?

    It's all fucking coffee. Why people have their own trademarked terms for shit is beyond me.

  13. #13
    ForrestBlack's Avatar Administrator
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    Quote Originally Posted by evilstonermonkey
    ...but a macchiato is espresso (STRAIGHT espresso) with a stain of milk froth (literally just a teaspoon of milk, although some places use a thin layer of froth instead). it just sounds fancier. and im sorely pressed not to kill...
    That has always bothered me too. I mean, I do enjoy the drink they call a caramel macchiato, but it really is a caramel latte. I also think their version of a cappuccino usually has too much milk in it as well.

  14. #14
    Bikerpunk's Avatar Ill-intentioned bad apple
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    I once read on a biker board that a rule of thumb was the more words you have to use to describe how you want your coffee, the bigger the douchebag you are.

    Gimme a small drip <-- not a douche

    "A 170 degree bone dry double tall three shot two pump caramel hazelnut breve venti mocha" <---- DOUCHE

  15. #15

    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    I've thought about it a lot, but to be honest I would learn how to make a mocha and how to work a french press, then quit. As much as I enjoy the coffee I do drink, i just don't drink enough to justify learning the trade.

  16. #16
    One Eyed Cat's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    I don't even have to ask at a few places here. Regardless of their "brand name", they'll know it's a coffee blended with extra espresso and just start making it. They do kinda trip when I break it up a bit. Still, cold press or tea need not be elaborated with a gazillion syllables.

    OEC

  17. #17
    SyntheticShock's Avatar ...
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    At Starbucks we used whole esspresso beans in the espresso machine. But for our coffee we had pre-ground packets that came in.

  18. #18
    SyntheticShock's Avatar ...
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    Quote Originally Posted by ForrestBlack
    That has always bothered me too. I mean, I do enjoy the drink they call a caramel macchiato, but it really is a caramel latte. I also think their version of a cappuccino usually has too much milk in it as well.
    Yea, they try to get creative with drinks and the names, macchiato means "to mark" or something to that affect, but your right, all it is, is a carmel latte only with the esspresso shot put in after the milk, instead of before, oh and some carmel drizzle on top.

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    Morning Glory's Avatar Apathetic Voter
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    I love that commercial.

    "can I get a large coffee?"

    "we don't have large, we only have venti"

    "what's a venti?"

    "it's a large."

  20. #20
    keiko's Avatar baker of geekery
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    i'm well versed in theory. i'd love to try my hand at it and build my skills in the art of good coffee.

    starbucks is not coffee any more than mcdonalds is food. comparing the noble and long lived art of the coffee house barista to a teen who stumbles about behind the counter at a chain shop is like comparing ground chuck to Kobe beef. technically alike but so different as to need a passport to get from one to the other.

    ~k

  21. #21
    ForrestBlack's Avatar Administrator
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    I find Starbucks coffee variable, but reliably midlin. It's never amazing but certainly not the worst. The 'cool' coffee place near me changed management and totally sucks now. I like the environment, but their coffee is terrible. I'd totally rather have a Starbucks coffee. However, a few miles away is a really awesome coffee place. It's not great to hang out at though, so I guess in my area there is an inverse relationship between quality of coffee and comfortable place to enjoy it.

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    Morning Glory's Avatar Apathetic Voter
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    i'll skip the long tirade and simple say that I'm really opposed to the mono-cultural revolution.

    (now for the long tirade about something else. you didn't think that i meant to skip it all together? oh you naive one.)

    I think that a lot of people know that like most agricultural products shipped world-wide a good portion of coffee beans are harvested using slave labor. The beans are almost always bought from a regional seller comprised of various local sources, which assures that it is easier to get away with. If 80 or 90% is documented , then the remaining illegal source is not going to be worthwhile enough for local authorities to investigate, but lucrative enough for the seller to continue doing business that way. All of the big coffee manufactures buy this way and they usually don't bother to find out the individual sources: "This industry isn't responsible for what happens in a foreign country," said Gary Goldstein of the National Coffee Association, which represents the companies that make Folgers, Maxwell House, Nescafe and other brands.

    Of course Star Bucks DOES buy some of thier beans "fair trade"- which means that the coffee is traced back to it's source and confirmed that the original grower does pay it's workers. Of course it simple means that they get paid Something, not that they get paid an above-poverty level wage. No big business does that, because they wouldn't make any money if they did. Also note that I said SOME of it is fair-trade. All of it isn't, because that wouldn't make any money either. and so that means that there is a portion of Starbucks coffee that is not accounted for, which means that there is a portion of it that is grown by slavery.

    All this being said, the coffee industry is pretty shitty, and while I am certainly not innocent of partaking in it, I don't really think it's much to be praised or respected, other than the fact they have got me addicted to thier bullshit products and this same consumerist society makes it necessary that I have to manage my time where I need a boast of energy to get through the day, sometimes.

  23. #23
    Ace's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    I worked as a barista for all of a week.

    I had no problems with the customer, but my boss: it was my first week and he intended that by the end of my third shift, I should be able to run a Starbucks-like chain BY MYSELF (literally, me, the only person in the store and an utter n00b). I hadn't even made a drink yet! Then, he asks me to go to get him a sandwich on MY BREAK.

    Yeah, sorry, I wasn't getting paid enough for that.

  24. #24
    evilstonermonkey's Avatar Please don't run away...
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    Default Re: Who here can barista?

    Quote Originally Posted by SyntheticShock
    At Starbucks we used whole esspresso beans in the espresso machine. But for our coffee we had pre-ground packets that came in.
    but the grind needs to be altered depending on the room temperature, humidity, daily variations in the machine, etc... ugh. no wonder i dont like starbucks. but thats better than premade biscuits, anyway. i wonder where i heard that...

    Quote Originally Posted by Morning Glory
    i'll skip the long tirade and simple say that I'm really opposed to the mono-cultural revolution.

    (now for the long tirade about something else. you didn't think that i meant to skip it all together? oh you naive one.)

    I think that a lot of people know that like most agricultural products shipped world-wide a good portion of coffee beans are harvested using slave labor. The beans are almost always bought from a regional seller comprised of various local sources, which assures that it is easier to get away with. If 80 or 90% is documented , then the remaining illegal source is not going to be worthwhile enough for local authorities to investigate, but lucrative enough for the seller to continue doing business that way. All of the big coffee manufactures buy this way and they usually don't bother to find out the individual sources: "This industry isn't responsible for what happens in a foreign country," said Gary Goldstein of the National Coffee Association, which represents the companies that make Folgers, Maxwell House, Nescafe and other brands.

    Of course Star Bucks DOES buy some of thier beans "fair trade"- which means that the coffee is traced back to it's source and confirmed that the original grower does pay it's workers. Of course it simple means that they get paid Something, not that they get paid an above-poverty level wage. No big business does that, because they wouldn't make any money if they did. Also note that I said SOME of it is fair-trade. All of it isn't, because that wouldn't make any money either. and so that means that there is a portion of Starbucks coffee that is not accounted for, which means that there is a portion of it that is grown by slavery.

    All this being said, the coffee industry is pretty shitty, and while I am certainly not innocent of partaking in it, I don't really think it's much to be praised or respected, other than the fact they have got me addicted to thier bullshit products and this same consumerist society makes it necessary that I have to manage my time where I need a boast of energy to get through the day, sometimes.
    i work at gloria jeans, and we use 100% free trade beans.

    well, supposedly.

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