stupidest/grosest shopifting attempt i've seen in a while

[malcolm]

okay so it's thee/two days to halloween and you can now tell in the store that it's pretty much either pick somethin or end up a cryin power ranger or inflatable penis cus e're tkin all the h-frames down and pegin whats left up on the outside walls gttin ready forthat big ole wrap around line that happens on the thirtieth and the first.

well, i run the mask dept and dressing room so i have to pretty much drop every fuckin thing im doin every few minutes so i can let some ass into the dressin room to try on th thirty selections theyve brought up to my counter on and not buy any of them. well while im repegging the grease paints up, i hear this loud rustling noise from the masks and look over to see this man who is standing there with hisson and grandson stufing a six dollar chimp mask down the front of his fckin pants. now, he sees me and i just have to give people a look to get them to fuckin stop doin something (years of retail and security work i guess)so i gives him the look and e takes the uckin thing out of his pnts as if he were just jokin around. now, that was fuckin wrong,okay? and pretty fukin lame for a six dollar chimp mask....not like he was starvin or anything. but the grosspart came wen he handed the maskto his grandson to try on and his gandon tryed the fucker on! ugh! do't get me wrog, i don't mind wearin a guys ockstrap if i know em but there's just noe xcuse to first shove a chmp maky down the front of your pants and then make your grandson have to inhale your stanky nutfumes. needess to say, the fucker bought the fuckin mask.

[Donald Rilea]

okay so it's thee/two days to halloween and you can now tell in the store that it's pretty much either pick somethin or end up a cryin power ranger or inflatable penis cus e're tkin all the h-frames down and pegin whats left up on the outside walls gttin ready forthat big ole wrap around line that happens on the thirtieth and the first.

well, i run the mask dept and dressing room so i have to pretty much drop every fuckin thing im doin every few minutes so i can let some ass into the dressin room to try on th thirty selections theyve brought up to my counter on and not buy any of them. well while im repegging the grease paints up, i hear this loud rustling noise from the masks and look over to see this man who is standing there with hisson and grandson stufing a six dollar chimp mask down the front of his fckin pants. now, he sees me and i just have to give people a look to get them to fuckin stop doin something (years of retail and security work i guess)so i gives him the look and e takes the uckin thing out of his pnts as if he were just jokin around. now, that was fuckin wrong,okay? and pretty fukin lame for a six dollar chimp mask....not like he was starvin or anything. but the grosspart came wen he handed the maskto his grandson to try on and his gandon tryed the fucker on! ugh! do't get me wrog, i don't mind wearin a guys ockstrap if i know em but there's just noe xcuse to first shove a chmp maky down the front of your pants and then make your grandson have to inhale your stanky nutfumes. needess to say, the fucker bought the fuckin mask.

Very sad, and more than slightly disgusting, actions on this man's part!!!!

[malcolm]

i fuckin know. ive seen some shtty and sheisty individs in my time working but that takes the fuckin cake simply cus of him puttin the mask on his grandson's fuckn head.

[mmmcherry]

ummmmm ewww... dude shoulda been smacked... then made to buy a different one for his grandson!!

[evilstonermonkey]

im constantly being told by mall security to take off the gorilla mask. bastards :'(
at least i dont smell like nutsack though

[Donald Rilea]

im constantly being told by mall security to take off the gorilla mask. bastards :'(
at least i dont smell like nutsack though

[BookOfFaeye]

thats messed up.

I used to work retail and I saw a lady stuff clothing in her stroller and the babies diaper bag. She saw us and knew she was caught so she strolled up to the counter and as she pulled the stuff out of every nook and cranny said"I didn't have anywhere to put this much stuff." Then as she was being rung out she kept saying "No wait I changed my mind about that one" or take that off (the sale) its too much money." SHe actually only bought about 1/3 or less. She had turned down a few hundred dollars in merch.

Using your baby to try and shoplift. You should be smacked. Hard.

[Xochitl]

Thanks that is the funniest thing I have heard in awhile. A friend of mine told me about some lady shoving a Honey Bake Ham under the MuMu dress & into some shorts she was wearing underneath. The problem was it fell out & she kicked it as she was in mid-stride out the door. The worst part is she tried to act like someone threw it at her. She began yelling, "Who threw that ham at me." Still this story is pretty damn funny, I am going to definitely tell my friend.

Thanks!

[Donald Rilea]

God.

If there's anything I hate about as much as authoritarian idiots, it's low-rent thieves and grifters like the ones described here.

If one MUST steal, make sure it's for either a vital necessity of life, or steal big.

Might as well make the jail and prison time one has to do when caught, tried and convicted, well worth it.

Otherwise, why bother???

[malcolm]

exactly. i mean, i used to steal when i was a kid but once i turned the big 18 i stopped because i didt wanna get caught and nd up in jail. im too pretty for jail. lol

[Donald Rilea]

Well, I ain't. But, at 43, am getting a mite old for the rigours of life on the inside.

[malcolm]

oh pullease! youre 43? dont look it. and you look fine to me,if thats oky me sayin.

[Donald Rilea]

Thank you, Sir!!! You flatter me, and it's quite OK to give me a compliment. I may not go that way, but I don't mind being appreciated.

I think that almost every human being, male, female, straight, gay, lesbian, bi, and any number of other variants and sub-variants I don't even know about, likes to feel special and to be appreciated, aesthetically, romantically or sexually.

No-one, not even the ugliest, nastiest person on Earth, likes to be made to feel like he or she's a bucket of old fly shit.

So, a sincerely meant compliment from someone else to oneself always gives a bit of a lift and brightens the day, even if just a little.

So, again, thank you, Mr. Malcolm for your compliments as to my appearance.

Much appreciated.

BTW, that picture was taken about 3 years ago now. Hair's thinned a bit more since then.

But, the overall appearance's about the same, I think.

Think??? MOI??? I must be joking!!!

[evilstonermonkey]

noone ever compliments my looks
<-- and thats a recent picture

[Donald Rilea]

noone ever compliments my looks
<-- and thats a recent picture

Is it??? From the yellowish tint, I'd have thought it was one of the sepia-tinted photos so popular in the late 19th and early 20th Centuries .

[evilstonermonkey]

well, ok. the most recent i have

[mmmcherry]

heheee youre both sexy!!

[Donald Rilea]

Well, thank you, Ms. Cherry!!!! Much appreciated.

[Tigerlily]

I guess Wheel of Fortune and Price is Right just dont give him the kicks he needs anymore...

but yah, gross ew gross gross. Grandpa should be a bit more observant on whats going on.

[malcolm]

noone ever compliments my looks
<-- and thats a recent picture

well, youre an aussie, arent you? aussies dont have to be pretty, theyre hot just by associaton. and i dont mind guys with thinning hair,don, so long as it aint thin on their chesht (growr!)lol

[evilstonermonkey]

heheee youre both sexy!!

i dont need youre pity
*sniff*
but ill take it anyway...

[Exquisite]

i dont need youre pity
*sniff*
but ill take it anyway...

Problem is getting a look at you ... after all you are a ninja!

[Morning Glory]

One time I went to the mall and I saw people that make minimum wage taking thier job's way too seriously.

There's few things quite as satifsying as taking children and the elderly down a peg.

[mmmcherry]

heheee malcolm likes em fuzzy

[Donald Rilea]

Well, to answer Mr. Malcolm's question, yep, I've got man feathers.

[malcolm]

Well, to answer Mr. Malcolm's question, yep, I've got man feathers.

feathers eh? be careful..........thats sounds an awful bit like a bird term and i am a quarter cheshire

[malcolm]

heheee malcolm likes em fuzzy

sure do! gives me something to paw while i cuddle up and pur on them. and yes, i can actually pur and do paw my lovers like a cat........mind you if they stay long enough afterward to stay in bed with me lol which will not be a problem once i put up my new cool props and shit i got from spirit! my bed area is gonna look so fuckin spook show it aint even funny.

[Donald Rilea]

You make kitty feet with your lovers??? LOL Sounds like you and Amigo(my cat)would get along quite nicely, as he loves to make kitty feet on my bed covers, and when he's being petted.

Well, considering that that behaviour, in felines, at least, is a means of both getting the mother cat to give more milk to her kittens, and as a sign of great pleasure, and also to soften a given surface on which a cat wants to lay itself, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise.

[malcolm]

lol i love cats. sorry it took so long t respond. watchin spidey3 on compy. just bought it today

[Donald Rilea]

lol i love cats. sorry it took so long t respond. watchin spidey3 on compy. just bought it today

Not to worry, Mr. Malcolm.

BTW, did a Google search on the Turbo Folk topic I mentioned in another thread, and will haveta PM ya that link, and some of the various links I found in it.

As for you loving cats, I do too.

[malcolm]

i wish i could have one in the house but m mom picked up the allery to em bcause of my sis' cat, cloud. he was an adorabe little medium hair wite mix with green eyes. very vocal and playful too.my sis came up from lke charles to pick him up the day i came back from new york. he was just getting used to me again too.i miss him.

[Donald Rilea]

Damn shame, Malcolm. You have my sincerest condolences.

[malcolm]

thanks.

[evilstonermonkey]

oh, get a room you two

[Donald Rilea]

oh, get a room you two