Feeling Closer While Drifting Apart

[Amelia G]

Do you ever find yourself feeling closer to someone, exactly when they are feeling less close? Do you ever find people suddenly feeling closer to you, exactly when you are not so comfortable with them any more? How do you handle it?

[Velvet-Tongue]

No real way to "handle" it...just..thats how life is. Removing fantasy (of the mental variety) goes a long way on making stuff easier to understand. Atleast that worked for me.

[Jax]

Happens to me quite frequently, where others feel closer and I dont.

I pretty much tell them why I dont and whats going on that makes me feel that way. Every now and then it backfires and things get worse, so I just have to shut them out.

[Mr Karl]

I'm kind of antisocial, helps avoid that problem as for how I used to deal with it hmmmmm I guess slowly

[Sara X]

my boyfriend just broke up with me, right when i thought things were going better and i felt like we had a stronger relationship than before. i wish i'd known.

if i'm feeling less fluffy-wuffy towards someone, i back off. or run, depending on the urgency of the situation. either way i make them aware that i am not sharing their sentiment, as nicely as i can unless they've really done something to rub me the wrong way.

[Toe Cutter]

It could be as simple as that person may just be going through a funky period and the issues might not have anything to do with you. They could just be in their own head a lot figuring stuff out. If I were you I'd just play it cool for a while, see if they come around.

[Amelia G]

I think I might not always give the clearest signals. Like I might want to give someone some space while they are working through something, but it might not be a permanent rejection, although some people take it as such. Or I might just want a little coaxing to stop being a workaholic for a minute and someone might see that as me wanting more space. Then again, if I go out and have a bunch of fun with someone (parties, trips, dinners, coffee, etc.) and then I need to get some work done, I'll be peeved if they take my need for some time as a desire to have space away from them.

[Toe Cutter]

Then again, if I go out and have a bunch of fun with someone (parties, trips, dinners, coffee, etc.) and then I need to get some work done, I'll be peeved if they take my need for some time as a desire to have space away from them.

That person in my opinion would be acting a bit unreasonable. Although it's hard to get a good read on the situation with the ambiguous descriptions. I understand why your vague, but it makes it harder to know what's really up. Some people just over analyze stuff and situations to the point that it becomes an issue. I'm not suggesting that's the case necessarily but it is a pretty common thing.

[MistressJennifer]

I really thought we were SO close... But I was SO wrong... But with a coke addict, you never know, their moods change so much. One minute they are charming and romantic. And the next minute he is hateful and breaking up with you. I guess it depends on how many drugs he took... Very scary and cold...

[dead_but_twitching]

i've always had that problem....
it's soo disturbing, i got like tonns of friends but when i'm with them they're soo remote i cant relate to them...
and they're like calling me and say that they wanna hang out
and stuff. they're really nice people but i don't feel any connection.
so i always feel like i don' have a friend in the world, when in reality i got like twenty

[Anarkey]

ive been thur that a few, and both ends of that spectrum, but thats a live and learn type thing,cuzz everyone is diffrent ..
at first i didnt handle it too well, but ass i whent on thur the ageing prosscess ya kind of get a fellin bout those thing ,,,at lest i do ....like when too keep my mounth shut as too not crush someones fellings .. i dont like that feeling .