need criticism

[vixta]

i've written a story, but i've lived with it so long i can't tell if it's any good or not... it's a bit long for a short story so i've stuck it on a friends site click here to go to it, and please please please let me know what you think.

cheers

[Genesis Revelation]

that's damn awesome. It was fairly believable too. you should probably go back and spell check it though, you've got a few misspellings...but I do that all the time. I have one of my short stories posted up too.
What are you going to do with it? Will you have your story published?

[vixta]

lol - yeah. word isn't working so the typos are becoming a pain in the ass - it's only the second draft so i aint too worried about it. getting it published is the next thing...

[TheQuietPlace]

I'm reading it right now, and I must say its a very good read.