I'm Done.....

[killerkat]

shit.accident..i'll type the rest of this later.....


don't reply to this .....yet......

[devil13]

ok

[killerkat]

so yea,i can't take it anymore....

i can't be the "lonewolf" any longer,with the excerption of the "gathering" with two strangers yesterday,i haven't been around ,talked to,or anything arounf people in forever.....

when it first dawed on me i'd be living alone for a while(over a year now),i was fine with it,i'm a solitary guy....i'd like it.....

well it's gone waaayyy past that,past being "lonely" ,past beinf "apethetic",past developing social "disorders"(i can't function around people,i used to be smooth and charismatic).....it's gone Past sensory-deprivaton.....

image in being alone for 24/7....even at work ,i'm alone....

they few people i know cared about me,have all but forgotten me,or turned there backs or something,who knows....hel even the goddamed girl,after my x-feincee,that dropped just about everything to be with me has "dissappered" as well.......

my phone hasn't been used in weeks,i don't even know why i pay for it anymore.....

even if it was JUST a relapse of whatever times i've (litteraly) lost my mind,i could puch through it,and be ok....but it's all of that^^,and THEN a relapse.....

and you can't even say,"hey go out on the town"....there 's NOT a goddamed thing to do here(kid thora. can probally back me up).....

there's a theather(i hate movies,,kids) and a coffee shop,(a whole new,very bad crowd there).....

i don't know what to do anymore,i wan't to move to Canada soo bad...

i'm just done....i can't do it anymore....

i don't know what my options are,or what i'm gonna do ,but this has got to stop....for the sake of what little mental health i have left.....


i ,actually, maybe, love you guys ,that's the only reason i'd say this here......


(godamn is this actually a tear?,woah).....

K.K........



(i think i'm gonna go buy one of those kajillion piece 3d puzzles now,if i can even afford one )

[devil13]

sounds to me like you need to fix up your car and just get the fuck out of there even just for a lil while.

[killerkat]

even the first and last thing in the world that makes me truly happy(old ,loud ,rusty, ass hotrods) has seemed to lost a bit of it's magic......

[Evilbink]

Sounds like you just need to let go... try not to think about so much so fast, and just get yourself to someplace new.

[killerkat]

so many options but so many more reason why i can't....

i can't afford to go anywhere,barely afford gas....


hard to let go after so long.....

so many little things that add up to such huge problems....

[scabre]

aww hunny, you desperately need a road trip.. (hugs)

[killerkat]

just went on one yesterday,ended all the way just east of alabama.....

that was the first time in forever,that i've done anything really.....didn't help at all.....

thanks.....

[Pull~My~Hair]

omg you just explained my life.....i havent left my house in 2 months....wait i went to the grocery store once....oi...lets move to canada together

[killerkat]

omg you just explained my life.....i havent left my house in 2 months....wait i went to the grocery store once....oi...lets move to canada together

ok........


you DO have that cute little baby to hang out with though ......

[Pull~My~Hair]

ok........


you DO have that cute little baby to hang out with though ......

yeah but I can only make gurgle noises and funny faces for so long...
everyonce in a while I like to use big words....or just words in general

[killerkat]

yeah but I can only make gurgle noises and funny faces for so long...
everyonce in a while I like to use big words....or just words in general

ok lets go than....how's B.C......

[Camby Savelle]

1.where are you located? (maybe you could hang out with me or something???)

2.do you also use the alias yuriel???

3.if the answer to 2 is yes, please void question 1.

[killerkat]

who the fuck is yuriel?.....

if that answers your question......


i think i'm content with moving to Canada with Miss.Pull now,hahaha.....

[Pull~My~Hair]

ok lets go than....how's B.C......

BC sounds perfect!

[killerkat]

BC sounds perfect!

Bc it is....




gotta sail the pirate ship though,it's tradition...."alll aboard,next stop Oregon,final destination BC,yarr!!"



( i can't believe i got that smilie to work,i'm gettin' good,haha)

[Pull~My~Hair]

Bc it is....




gotta sail the pirate ship though,it's tradition...."alll aboard,next stop Oregon,final destination BC,yarr!!"



( i can't believe i got that smilie to work,i'm gettin' good,haha)

then once we get there we are hitting the first bar we see

[killerkat]

then once we get there we are hitting the first bar we see

you got it!! ......

hope they got Makers Mark.....


they have some really good ice creme` too,it comes like a cake and you slice it,it's got a maple leaf in the inside,it's a must have for US "refugees".....

[pagan]

A long while back I found myself in a similar situation. I felt so alone and isolated. This was even in my pre-internet days so I didn't even have that. I would ask myself why is this happening to me. Sometimes I would find solace in a bottle or "party favor".
After a long time things got better, much better. I found out things that happened to my old friends while I was away. I'll just say im lucky not to be in jail or dead now. The best thing for me at that time was to be alone. I thought things were bad but they could have been much much worse. At the time what seemed like the worst thing to happen to me ended up being the best thing in the long run. Im not religious but "the lord works in mysterious ways."

Hope that helps.

[pagan]

Also I wanted to add that ass horrible things were, I was close to the end. Now it's several years later and I am very happily married to the most wonderful girl I have ever met (will be our fourth anniversary sept. first). She is six months pregnant, we live in a new town, work is great. Life kicks ass now and I would have missed out on all this if I had done something stupid back in my dark days.

[Pull~My~Hair]

you got it!! ......

hope they got Makers Mark.....


they have some really good ice creme` too,it comes like a cake and you slice it,it's got a maple leaf in the inside,it's a must have for US "refugees".....

lol woohoo maple leaf cake!!! how patriotic like

[killerkat]

lol woohoo maple leaf cake!!! how patriotic like

you know it .....



and thanks Pagan.....