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Thread: Tough Situation

  1. #1
    Scott's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Tough Situation

    A little over a year ago.
    One of my models over at EroticBPM killed herself.

    It was a huge shock, she always seemed pretty cheerful and just 2 weeks prior she had done some new shoots for us.

    I decided to put up a page in her memory, but take down her photos.
    I knew that she loved being on my site, but I did not feel right essentially making money off her images if she was no longer around.

    Today I found out there was a suicide note, and in it she mentioned me and my site and it was basically her last wish to have her photos stay up.

    This makes me feel really weird to find this out after so long..

    Should I grant her wish?

    Also.. for all you models..
    If you were to die, what would you want done with your photos?

  2. #2
    Amelia G's Avatar chick in charge
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    That would really freak me out if I were you. But I know I want to leave a legacy in general, so I can see why someone would want their work to live after them. It seems like someone should have respected her wishes enough to tell you about the note at the time.

  3. #3
    Pull~My~Hair's Avatar makes your life seem good
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    I think that you should do as she would've wanted...but yeah, like amelia said...why did it take so long for you to find out?

  4. #4
    Scott's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    Apparently her parents keep a printout of the page I made in her memory
    So i guess they went to the site..

    I dont know why they didnt contact me..

  5. #5
    Rockwulf's Avatar Negatory
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    Well you could reconcile your guilt over making money off of her by putting them in a free area. That way her wish will be seen to, your guilt will be taken care of, and art will be spread freely.

  6. #6
    Rockwulf's Avatar Negatory
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    Or, better yet, put the pics on the tribute page, and put the whole thing out free. Then the art is attributed to the artist and given credit to the sacrifice as well.

  7. #7
    keiko's Avatar baker of geekery
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    I say if it's what she wanted and you want to respect her wishes, by all means, put them up. I know I'd want my pictures to remain up everywhere they are (esp on BB) to prove that I was here in the first place.

    Still desont explain why the parents etc. didn't mention the note to you when they found it as you were mentioned favourably.

    K

  8. #8
    ForrestBlack's Avatar Administrator
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    Scott, honestly, it's not like you charge top dollar for your site. You cover expenses and that's about it, really. I know you have deeper reasons to do what you do. You created a genuine community really early on, before it got corrupted by marketing people getting credit for bullshit claims, and I have a ton of repect for that. If she was happy with what you created, I see nothing wrong with having her lasting images be a part of that. Obviously, I would potentially include some of your own perspective on the scene and where it has gone since the days of creativity and purity and true vision, but if she felt so positive about your pure creation, you should honor her by including her and continuing to provide the pure vision she believed in. I myself, can't be sure that the window will ever be as open as it once was for a real online representation of real fringe community, like it was for the pioneers of online subcultural erotica, like RaverPorn or BlueBlood. The world was a lot different back then. I wish some people could get the credit they deserve for fighting for the appreciation of diverse sexuality, rather than just cashing in (like some of the new sites getting such a BS buzz!) If she believed in your mission and your creation, YES! Honor her with her beautiful images, because I KNOW you are doing it for much bigger reasons than just a dollar. Your choices over the years would be a lot different if that was all that matterered to you. She was a beautiful person, and I honestly feel that you provided the venue to let that shine. And shine for the right people, full of appreciation for who she really was.

    Forrest Black~

  9. #9
    Morning Glory's Avatar Apathetic Voter
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    Maybe there is some way that you can do the page for free, but maybe have a link so that people can send donations to the girls family. Since people are used to paying for your site, that doesn't sound like such a wild request, particularly if they were her fans.

  10. #10
    Evilbink's Avatar Sanctimonious Satyr
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    Quote Originally Posted by Scott
    basically her last wish to have her photos stay up.

    Should I grant her wish?

    I think that says it all. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment, wouldn't you hope that your last wishes were meaningful enough to be granted?

  11. #11
    Scott's Avatar Senior Member
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    Default Re: Tough Situation

    Thanks for all the input people

    I think I will make a new page and put them back up
    I have decided that I will leave it in the members section, and make periodic donations to some suicide prevention non-profits

    If anyone has some good ones to suggest please feel free to let me know.

    The whole thing just has me feeling so odd..
    In a way, i feel touched that she knew this would be an issue with me and took the time to put it in her note. and I really wish i had known about this note after it happened..

    But even more, I wish that she did not feel that that suicide was the only way out.. I wish I could have let her know that she could have talked to me..

    I am very good friends with some of my models, others I do not know so well. But I care very much for their well-being. I hope they all realize I am a friend and am always willing to take time out of my day to listen to them.

    Quote Originally Posted by ForrestBlack
    You created a genuine community really early on, before it got corrupted by marketing people getting credit for bullshit claims, and I have a ton of repect for that. If she was happy with what you created, I see nothing wrong with having her lasting images be a part of that. if she felt so positive about your pure creation, you should honor her by including her and continuing to provide the pure vision she believed in.
    Ya, She loved the site, and she never attempted to model anywhere else. I have never pressured my models to stay exclusive to my sites, but when they choose to.. it makes me feel really good.. I know that they really appreciate my site when they do that.

    I myself, can't be sure that the window will ever be as open as it once was for a real online representation of real fringe community, like it was for the pioneers of online subcultural erotica, like RaverPorn or BlueBlood. The world was a lot different back then. I wish some people could get the credit they deserve for fighting for the appreciation of diverse sexuality, rather than just cashing in (like some of the new sites getting such a BS buzz!)
    Yes, the internet has changed a lot in that time... hell... even subculture has changed a lot. As soon as someone realizes a group of people are interested in something.. a new music or lifestyle trend.. they package it and market it and change it so much and so fast that it is nothing like the original people intended it to be.

    If she believed in your mission and your creation, YES! Honor her with her beautiful images, because I KNOW you are doing it for much bigger reasons than just a dollar. Your choices over the years would be a lot different if that was all that matterered to you. She was a beautiful person, and I honestly feel that you provided the venue to let that shine. And shine for the right people, full of appreciation for who she really was.

    Forrest Black~
    Yeah, looking back.. there have been a lot of opportunities where I could have made a lot more money. But I am not willing to compromise my beliefs and morals.

    Anyways.. thanks again for all the input everyone

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