Darth Vader Robs Bank

[The Newswire]

Someone strode into the bank in a Darth Vader costume yesterday. A customer found this so hilarious, he went to hug adorable Darth.

This customer at a Chase branch in Long Island was in for an unpleasant surprise. Well, yeah, unpleasant surprises at JP Morgan Chase banks are pretty much de rigeur at this point, but this one is at least kind of hilarious. The costumed character threw him to the floor to demonstrate how serious he was.

Darth Vader was actually there to rob the bank. Setauket PD has no leads and police and bank officials are being tight-lipped about how much money the Sith Lord made off with.

Death Stars are a totally viable business, but a few setbacks, like vandalism by terrorists, coupled with a tanking economy and, well, I'm guessing Darth Vader applied for an ARC loan. And I'm guessing the business specialist at that branch was a really hot chick who talked about sex inappropriately and who didn't know how to file the loan documents but surprisingly got promoted anyway. I'm guessing.

And, while I don't advocate robbing Chase banks, no matter how many American jobs they outsourced with taxpayer dollars, I'm still cheering for the Dark Lord. I don't think they are going to catch him. He's Darth MFin' Vader.

Read the full article

[ForrestBlack]

Suuuure... "Darth Vader" "robbed" the banks.

17 TARP Banks Paid Execs Billions: Pay Czar

[mollycase]

This was so fantastic that I made a post about it, even though I've been on hiatus from blogging. Everyone I know has been sending me this, but, Amelia, you were first.

[Amelia G]

Suuuure... "Darth Vader" "robbed" the banks.

17 TARP Banks Paid Execs Billions: Pay Czar

I think you are on to something.

[Amelia G]

This was so fantastic that I made a post about it, even though I've been on hiatus from blogging. Everyone I know has been sending me this, but, Amelia, you were first.

Glad to be of service. You should blog more, but you know that.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

Where the Hell's my friggin bonus? I'm a banker and I haven't even been able to get a raise in 4 fucking years now, due to the crappy economy. It's so utterly fucking ridiculous how much these muthafuckas make in all these high ranks. And, let's face it...It's not just banking. There's so many corporate exec's out there making so much scratch in bonus' and there is just no fucking rhyme or reason. Corporations that are handing out pink slips like there's no tomorrow due to the poor economy and STILL the top execs get big fat bonus'. America's so screwed up.

[Mr Karl]

banker............. .................without me doing my job paper doesn't get cut in a staight line, it's been years since I've had a raise too

[Ajax Knucklebones]

banker............. .................without me doing my job paper doesn't get cut in a staight line, it's been years since I've had a raise too

I'm on the crummy side of the banker hierarchy, Mr. Karl...The banker who's big job it is to get people to deposit lots of cash into the bank and to open lots of accounts. I do make the small loans, but not the kind that destroy people's lives...Hence no bonus' and raises. I have to sleep at night...Know what I mean?

[Mr Karl]

I know what you mean..........but don't you ever even briefly fantasize about the dark side

[Pleth]

How can you NOT want Darth Vader to be the one to rob you, if you are indeed going to be robbed? I guess he took off on a bike afterward? Can you imagine sitting at some outdoor cafe, nursing a hangover and looking up to this guy riding a Huffy down the street, cops in tow?

[aXa]

woulda been way way better if he took off on a speeder bike

[Morning Glory]

I gets worse, I heard that they are building a mosque and a gay bar inside the new Death Star.

[Ajax Knucklebones]

woulda been way way better if he took off on a speeder bike

Hahahaha!