Immortalized Episode 7: First Love

This week’s Immortalized begins with a load of crazed, sweaty bombast from Zach Selwyn, whose hands trace ever more complex glyphs of desperation.

Our challenger? Erich Carter, whose clients include A-list celebrities, and whose patter sounds coached. This is more apparent after hearing him tell Zach about his childhood spent rejecting wholesome pursuits and sticking rotting birds to walls. Erich will battle Dave Houser, who is mugging and busting moves like he’s just killed a sixer of Pepsi.

Secret ingredient this week is first love. Dave makes a joke about mounting his first girlfriend, whom I imagine just felt a shadow pass over her.

The home visits start with some dismal boasting and quickly move on to banal ideas and then worrisome religious imagery. I’m not sure but I think Dave is going to crucify a stillborn lamb.

Again, I’m interested to see some of the blood and guts work of taxidermy being shown, along with stuff like carcass casting. Yes, it’s gross, but the last episode of Grimm had eyeballs being devoured by worms.

Dave’s devotion to his savior speaks of a simple faith. There’s a lot that’s touching about Dave and his stated views on life, but there’s also a sense that the county should send someone to check on him every week or so.

Erich is a long-term contributor to a popular taxidermy magazine. I have no idea how this show is regarded inside the taxidermy community, but I’m guessing that he’s putting a lot on the line here. I’m not sure his Choucans are going to make an impression next to Dave’s Easter Blasphemy, but he’s already named them so there’s no turning back. Luckily his mold opens with no drama and the chicken skin fits.

Back at the studio, continuity screws up with Catherine’s outfits, and Dave’s birds look like he got them from Crate & Barrel. Erich’s explanation of his piece is a total word salad about rogue taxitoons, and the judges’ comments boil down to “So you meant to do that?” Dave gives a quick gloss of John 3:16 and the judges circle his piece with obvious trepidation. We learn that there’s a trade in stillborn lambs for taxidermists and that doves are hard to mount because the feathers fall out so easily.

In the judging huddle, the comments about Dave’s doves actually get bleeped, so it isn’t a total shock when Erich’s bobcat-eyed cartoon birds get the win. Dave marches back to his pen with a defiant air, and everyone else seems in a hurry to get off camera. This week I can’t blame them a bit.


Posted by on March 28, 2013. Filed under Headline, Popcorn. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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