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Recently, while traipsing around the web with malice in my heart, I stumbled across a biological weapon of righteous vengeance. Something that struck fear in the deepest darkest recesses of my consciousness…a veritable doomsday device that is both terrible and awesome to behold; Super Crabs. (This product is apparently real. Someone please order this and […]
My fellow Americans, for too long we have toiled under the oppressive paw of a government that has spiraled out of control in terms of spending, military intervention, and passing laws that circumvent our God-given right not to have to introduce ourselves door-to-door whenever we move into a new neighborhood. To that end, I am […]
Scientists have drilled deeply into the psyche of the average heterosexual woman and managed to come away not only with sanity intact, but also with the sacred truth coveted by smarmy male club-skanks the world over: “which moves on the dance floor are likely to facilitate a healthy coat of stanky on my hang-down?” Employing […]
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