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Ack! Children of the Corn Cult! Man, RODERICK is a cop? Why are all these people swayed by Mark (Marc?) Antony!? I don’t give the general public a whole lot of credit in the brain department, hence QVC and those goddamn Doritos tacos, but it’s hard for me to believe that all these freaking people […]
This week’s episode of Immortalized begins with a jittering Zach Selwyn promising to bring us the “ultimate death match”. It’s finally come clear to him that the reason for his bizarre captivity is the same reason no one ever mentions prizes, and the reason for the “no endangered species” line in the pre-match pep talk. […]
Archer Hating Wife is taking it easy on me this week, since I’m heinously sick and doing this recap ripped to the tits on Mucinex Cough Slayer sizzurp. Excuse me if I lapse into prophesy midway through. This week’s episode of Archer opens with our boy Sterling’s thumb up Lana’s tush. How they gain any […]
Welcome to the fourth and final gimme episode of Immortalized, a show that I am going to start treating as a hostile entity if it does not improve after we presumably meet the fourth member of the home team. Host Zach Selwyn starts out punchy this week, and his gestures betray that he has slid […]
Archer Hating Wife update: AHW hates the show so much that it makes her pine for the bad old days of 3 networks. “Thursdays used to mean Hawaii and beautiful mustaches! Why can’t Thursdays still mean Magnum?” Sorry, hon. We’ll watch 5-0 later for a fix. This week’s ep of Archer begins with a nice […]
Archer Hating Wife has been catching up on old shows, including an endless parade of Lena Dunham’s Girls. If you imagine this is not her revenge for my commandeering the TV on Thursday nights for Archer viewing (and reviewing as needed), I think your imagination needs new batteries. Is this effective revenge? Well, the bits […]
We’re back with episode 3 of Immortalized, and Zach Selwyn’s unkempt hair and glazed eyes speak of a man who despairs of ever escaping his captivity. This week’s challenger is a 32-year taxidermy veteran who apparently thinks dressing like a beach bartender makes him an outlaw. Meet Mike “Mac” McCulloch and his A game. Mike […]
Steampunk has been around for decades in prose and comics and crappy cosplay, but has there ever been an actual steampunk movie? What usually gets marketed as steampunk, especially in the movies, is stuff that references the aesthetic without creating a world in which any of the tech makes sense. There’s no alternate history, there’s […]
We’re back for week 2 of Immortalized, and Zach Selwyn is still being held captive. His every movement is a semaphore of pleading and dread. And our challenger this week is CJ Fegan, who gives 110% and does not accept failure. CJ apparently lives in a David Lynch version of the Bates Motel, and is […]
Archer-hating wife update, since I know that’s the highlight of these recaps: Archer-hating wife has realized that Elementary is on opposite Archer, and is currently watching that in the spare room while our senile dog shuttles back and forth with increasing agitation. He prefers us both on the same couch, with him on the center […]
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