Question: How long do you wait for a commitment?

I’ve seen a few discussions online recently on the topic of how long you should accept waiting for a commitment in a relationship. So I thought I’d ask what you all think.

I’ll start. I think that, once you are an adult, a year is the magic timeline. As a young person in school, you may be subject to the whims of those you depend on. Once your life is your own, however, I think that anyone you are still unsure of after a year, is the wrong match. You might still enjoy him or her, but, if you are letting him or her wait for a commitment at that point, you are both fooling yourselves. Occasionally, a person can have some background trauma which slows the process or some personal breakthrough which changes it. Mostly, if, after a year, you can’t convince your partner to respect your career, have threesomes, develop an interest in crafting, start enjoying travel, stop kowtowing to relatives, or whatever you are waiting on, chances are that person is not the one.

That is my thought on it anyway. When I was living up at Wesleyan, my housemate Mary Gelezunas, who was deeply not overly girlie, used to joke: “Ring by spring or your money back.” (Mary and I each got a BA and not an MRS.) This question just made me think of that.

What do you think? How long would you wait for someone you love to commit to you? How long would you let someone fun wait on you, if you were not going to commit?


Posted by on August 13, 2011. Filed under Manifesto, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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