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True Blood – F the Pain Away

- by in Entertainment, Headline

In our continuing story “Everyone Wants to Eat Sookie”, Billith show’s up at Sookie’s and commands Warlow to come with him, as his maker. Huh. So Billith isn’t a flaccid do-nothing afterall. And then we get to see some museum diorama scenes from Warlow’s past. Jessica has eater’s remorse and is high on fairy blood. […]

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True Blood – You’re No Good

- by in Entertainment, Headline

Okay, so now Billith can see the future and he has to save ALL OF THEM FROM THE TRUE DEATH. Ahahaha, the bitch caught fire! I guess you’re faith wasn’t enough, dumbass. So he sends Jessica to get some scientist to SYNTHESIZE Sookie’s blood to….. That’s a good question, why DOES Warlo want your blood? […]

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Motionless in White – America Music Video

- by in Headline, Music

I first came across the band Motionless in White because the lovely Blue Blood babe Franccesca de Struct said she was going to be in a music video for them. The song is called “America” and is a catchy guitar-driven goth-industrial rant about how, with all the corruption in church and government, why is anyone […]

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True Blood – The Sun

- by in Entertainment, Headline

I would really appreciate it if HBO would make the opening credits shorter. It’s been six seasons, we get it, we know the song. It’s one more thing I have to fast forward through to get to the shit sandwich that is this show. Rutger Hower is NOT Warlow, but is Jason and Sookie’s fairy […]

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Game of Thrones S3 E30: Mhysa, or Who’s Cleaning Up This Mess?

- by in Headline, Popcorn

This week’s finale episode of Game of Thrones begins with me really not wanting to slog through recapping this dreary god-damned load. But Valar Dohaeris, fuckers. We in fact begin with the repellent Lord Flaymate mounting the battlements to survey the fiery, bloody, screaming mass of horror he has co-authored in his betrayal of the […]

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Red Wedding: Effing Starks Had It Coming or Duh, a Man-Flayer Always Has Secrets (Warning: Gross Pics & Spoilers)

- by in Headline, Popcorn

I’m just going to say it: BEST GOT EP OF THE SEASON. If you are super sad the Red Wedding went how it did, you might not want to keep reading. Also, if you are one of those pussies whinging about how they killed a wolf and a pregnant chick, HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING THIS […]

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Game of Thrones S3 E29: The Rains of Castamere, or No Dull Affair This

- by in Headline, Popcorn

This week’s penultimate episode of Game of Thrones opens with the line of the season: “Are you sure about this?” Spoken by Lady Cat, to her son Robbo, who has followed the path of honor to the edge of a nasty cliff. Robbo wants to set up a last-ditch lateral move, attacking the real seat […]

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Game of Thrones S3 E28: Second Sons, or Orders Are for Those Who Would Follow Them

- by in Headline, Popcorn

This week’s episode of Game of Thrones opens on a single awakening eye. It’s a cool and peaceful morning, and young Arya Stark has murder on her mind and a rock in her filthy hands. The Hound is off his bender, though, and isn’t to be snuck up on. Lesson learned: next time, throw the […]

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Doctor Who, Episode 713: The Name of the Doctor

- by in Headline, Popcorn

Errata: I largely dismissed a Gaiman-written ep last week without rousing any sort of complaint or protest. I started this season by wrongly identifying a voice actor and that was a crime. Don’t you people have any standards? Our finale episode of Doctor Who opens with a reeling orgy of fan service, with Clara time-shifting […]

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Game of Thrones S3E27: The Bear and the Maiden Fair, or Some Girls are Bigger Than Others

- by in Headline, Popcorn

We begin our episode of Game of Thrones a bit south of the wall, where we have some manner of jealous intrigue developing with Jon & Ginger and Orell. Orell’s true feelings for Ygritte must have awakened after he cut her lifeline last week. Either that or he’s sick of listening to their conversation and […]

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