I feel like I know a surprisingly large number of people who claim to be afraid of clowns. I think some folks I know only get uneasy if they go to the circus or something and some get full-on nightmares about being chased by axe-wielding harlequins or crushed to death in a small fuel-efficient vehicle with too many clowns inside. Coulrophobia is the technical term for extreme fear of clowns (in case you were looking for a vocab word of the day.)

Of course, by corollary, if there is something which makes some people crazy, I will also know people who love that thing largely because of the maddening impact on others. So I know a surprisingly large number of people who claim to be turned on by clowns. The extremely fabulous sex educator Dr. Ducky DooLittle even has a Knockers the Clown performance art character she does and I admit just last week I came across film proving I once bought a cake for the sole purpose of seeing Ducky stick her ass in it (a la pudding on MTV’s The State.) Entertaining though Ducky’s performances all are, I can’t say I am kinked for clowns.

People often take their children to circuses where there are clowns or invite clowns to perform at kids’ parties. Sad clown makeup used to trouble me, but it did not frighten me. I never found clowns remotely funny or scary as a child. I was going to say most physical humor misses me, but I find comedians like Steve Martin and Chevy Chase hilarious and there is a certain amount of physicality to what they do. So I guess I am just kind of unmoved by clowns specifically.

So I was looking at this half naked photo series of model Apnea for Apneatic and Deviant Nation which featured clown makeup and balloons and other tropes of soubrette clowning and it brought the vital question to mind: Are clowns scary or sexy or are they sexy because they are scary?

Baby Sinead has some very helpful advice for those who might seek to pronounce the word bass. Especially if one is, for example, presenting on stage. Watch the video and find out how to do it right.

Just so ya know, if you pronounce is /beɪs/ or [beys], so it rhymes with ace, lace, debase, then it has to do with sounds which are low in range. If your pronunciation is more like /bæs/ or [bas], so it rhymes with ass, class, fail to pass, then it pertains to fish.

When I was little, my family went deep sea bass-fishing a couple of times. I was good at fishing, but the whole hooking living things aspect kinda bothered me. Bass can be a freshwater or ocean fish, although I do not know whether that makes much difference in flavor. It might be reasonable to assume it does. Fresh sea bass sure is delicious though.

I am sad to report that special effects pioneer Stan Winston passed away yesterday, after a long struggle with multiple myeloma cancer. He was only sixty-two-years-old. Stan Winston is like nine of the top ten names in special fx that people into them tend to know. The other name is Tom Savini, known best for his active participation in fandom and willingness to share his knowledge from doing makeup effects on projects including Friday the 13th, Day of the Dead, and Killing Zoe. Stan Winston really was larger than life in a way where all comparisons have to fall short. He won Oscars for Best Effects Visual Effects on Jurassic Park, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, and Aliens. His work spanned the gamut from makeup to general special fx to the creature creation he was best known for. Not having been a reader of the comic book and being a fan of Keanu Reeves, I might be the only person in America who thought the look of the makeup and animatronics (and everything else) in Constantine was awesome, but it really was impressive. If the characters in a movie had innovative and fantastical design in the last couple decades, odds were good it was a Stan Winston joint. From Edward Scissorhands to John Carpenter’s The Thing, from Predator to Tank Girl, from Dracula’s Dog to Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles, Stan Winston was the man. When the hilarious Galaxy Quest wanted to do it right, they tapped Stan Winston. Now of course, Stan Winston did not attach every eyelash and fang personally, but he was one of the founders of a quadruple threat empire with studios for live action character effects, digital animation and enhancement, producing and directing, and even an action figures and comics division. You can see some of the product of this genius in Ironman in theatres now.

I just did a shoot on Hollywood Boulevard’s Walk of Fame this past weekend and I was struck by the extent to which I didn’t recognize the names of so many of the accomplished people memorialized there. Stan Winston got his star in 2001 and I hope people remember him for a long time, whether or not they are wandering along Hollywood Blvd. Rest in peace.