Do you believe alien abductions really happen?

Olatunde Osunsanmi directs the beautiful Milla Jovovich in The Fourth Kind. Close Encounters was the third kind i.e. contact with extraterrestrials. The Fourth Kind is alien abduction. Apparently, there is a part of Alaska which has had an unusually high number of missing persons and an unusually high number of otherwise credible people who appear to truly believe they have been the victims of alien abductions.

The movie is part documentary and part reenactment, juxtaposing videotapes psychologist Dr. Abigail Tyler made of patients with reenactments by Milla Jovovich. I may have a stronger opinion one way or the other, after seeing the movie, but I’m personally on the fence on what to think about alien life forms performing experiments on humans.

By the way, according to the alien interaction scale, the second kind is collecting evidence of aliens and the first kind is just sighting a UFO.

Perhaps Kids in the Hall can offer some insight:

Alien 1: So what’s bothering you?
Alien 2: Ah, lately I just keep wondering what’s the point?
Alien 1: The point?
Alien 2: Yeah. What’s the point of what we do?
Alien 1: Sorry, I don’t follow you
Alien 2: Well, I mean, we travel 250,000 light years across the universe, abduct humans, probe them anally and release them.
Alien 1: Yeah? And?
Alien 2: Well, doesn’t it seem kind of pointless?
Alien 1: I really don’t think about it.
Alien 2: Well don’t you think you should?
Alien 1: No, I don’t think I should. I don’t think I should question the leadership of our Great Leader
Alien 2: Oh, come on. I mean, we’ve been coming here for fifty years and performing anal probes and all that we have learned is that one in ten doesn’t really seem to mind.
Alien 1: Well, do you have a better plan than our Great Leader?
Alien 2: Yes I do, I do have a better plan. My plan is that we don’t travel 250,000 light years, we don’t abduct any humans and — this is the best part — we don’t do any anal probing.
Alien 1: Oh, great plan. Do you realize how many people Intergalactic Anal-Probing employs?
Alien 1: Well back to work.
Alien 2: Aw.
Alien 1: Ready the anal probe.
Alien 2: Anal probe is ready.
Alien 1: Commence anal probing
Alien 2: Couldn’t we at least abduct their political or religious leaders instead of just any idiot in a pickup truck?
Alien 1: I’m sure the Great Leader has his reasons
Alien 2: Well, I’m sure the Great Leader is just some sort of twisted ass freak!
Alien 1: All right. I am now officially ignoring you. Commence anal probing.

Or perhaps Kids in the Hall can not offer any insight on the existence of alien abduction, but it can be very humorous. The first time I ever got strep throat was when I went to go see Close Encounters with my father. I still feel phantom pain in the back of my mouth, when I think about it.


Posted by on October 22, 2009. Filed under Blue Blood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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